By Rikdo Koshi. Released in Japan by Shonen Gahosha, serialization ongoing in the magazine Young King OURS. Released in North America by Viz.

I tend to divide the Excel Saga manga into 5 parts. Part 1 are the first 6 books, establishing characters and featuring Excel and Hyatt getting into wacky situations. Part 2 is Books 7-11, and introduces Elgala, changing the dynamic of the main heroines. Part 3 is about to begin here, with Books 12-15, which starts to actually advance the main plot. Part 4 I call the “Teriha” arc, for reasons I won’t spoil, and is Volumes 16-20. And the likely final arc is currently going on, and is Volumes 21-present.

However, we don’t begin Excel Saga 12 immediately. Indeed, Viz’s credits for the volume don’t even appear until Page 50! (Which is a great touch). Instead, the first quarter of this volume is devoted to the wacky, lovable adventures of Umi Rengaya, an 18-year-old dojikko who acts as assistant and dogsbody to our favorite loli-lovin’ mad scientist, Gojyou Shiouji. Umi is cute, and very busty (the notes helpfully tell us her 3 sizes, 98-58-82), and eager to please, and sadly has a brain the size of a peanut. Her scientist father (who we don’t actually meet here) has sent her off to work with Dr. Shiouji, presumably to try to make her slightly more capable.

These quick, 6-8 page chapterlets take place at approximately the same time as Volumes 9 and 10 of Excel Saga proper, and indeed we see some of the phone calls between Kabapu and Shiouji from the other side of the conversation, now realizing why they cut off so abruptly. I’m not sure if they ran as special extras in Young King OURS proper, or if they ran in the side magazine which also runs Rikdo’s softcore comedy Holy Brownie, Young King OURS+. They’re cute, if slight, and help us realize the basics of their relationship: Umi loves Shouji, but is dumb as a post and the clumsiest girl in the world; Shiouji is exasperated by Umi but tolerates her due to their past and a sort of grudging duty.

We get a flashback in Excel Saga proper explaining their relationship; they first met when Shiouji was 14 and Umi was 6, at a party given by her father. He was entranced by her innocent beauty, she was just happy to meet someone new. Unfortunately, even at 6 years old she seems to have a developing bust, and it just keeps on developing. This is possibly the first time that we see Shiouji’s lolita complex to not just be a love of young girls, but equally a hatred of large-breasted women. WHY he hates them will be left for Volume 13, but for now let’s just say Umi’s chest growing but her IQ staying the same has removed any infatuation he once had, though he does still seem to try to protect her innocence (which has only grown more shiny over the years.)

Meanwhile, Excel, Hyatt and Elgala are at the beach! They’ve signed on as waitresses at a beach cafe being run by Miss Manager, the Emeraldas-alike we met in Volume 7. Mister Owner is still off fighting the war, but no worries, as she has enough German jokes for all of us. (Including one very disturbing one where she asks Hyatt to clean the showers and the ovens, and Hyatt immediately drops dead after turning on the shower. I’m not sure if it’s deliberate or not, but if so it probably ranks as the most distasteful Excel Saga joke ever. Especially since it comes about 3 panels after Miss Manager saying “Tomorrow Belongs To Me.”) A lot of beach jokes follow, as Excel and Elgala provide fanservice and accidentally blow things up, and Hyatt dies, fries, and goes on a boat ride with Watanabe.

Meanwhile, Kabapu is increasingly disturbed at the series of intentional blowing things up that Excel and Elgala did in Volume 11. It’s terrorism, sure. but boy it sure did help out the city. It’s what HE would have done had he been less ethical. (And man, arguing the ethics of Kabapu is an essay in itself.) He decides to try contacting Shiouji’s mother, Miwa… something he is very apprehensive about. Shiouji, meanwhile, refuses point blank to contact her. What we do find out is that Shiouji’s father (the creator of the Ropponmatsu core) disappeared 20 years earlier, and that after his disappearance Miwa… changed. She used to be so quiet before. Even Umi seems terrified of Miwa showing up again. Luckily, she doesn’t appear… yet.

Sadly, Watanabe’s boat ride turns disastrous, and though he manages to be rescued, he’s in a near-coma due to thinking that his beloved Miss Ayasugi has perished. In fact, Hyatt merely drifted until she washed up on the shore of the beach, with Excel noting that she passed through the inter-tidal zone. Misaki and company find her walking by the hospital, and arrange for her to visit Watanabe’s room, as they think that he’s having delusions. Her assurance that she fell into the sea then woke up on the beach do reassure him, but don’t help the others believe that he was telling the truth.

Meanwhile, as sort of a cliffhanger ending, we see Il Palazzo having an internal monologue in the middle of a vast sci-fi-ish control room. He admits that things are progressing very slowly (in point of fact, ACROSS has done almost nothing to take over the world the last 12 volumes), and seems to give his alternate personality permission to shake things up. This is good news for ACROSS, but not necessarily for Excel; Il Palazzo is passive-aggressive towards her when he’s himself, but positively horrid when he’s in his other guise. Will she be OK? And how bad could Shiouji’s mother be, anyway?

Find out in Volume 13! As always, highly recommended.