I Swear I Won’t Bother You Again!, Vol. 5

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By Reina Soratani and Haru Harukawa. Released in Japan as “Kondo wa Zettai ni Jama Shimasen!” by Gentosha Comics. Released in North America by Airship. Translated by Sarah Moon. Adapted by Hayame.

This final volume suckerpunched me a bit. When I was reading the first, oh, 60 pages or so, I wondered if this was actually going to be, against all odds, a “victory lap” final volume, one where all has been taken care of and our happy couple are finally free to be with each other forever. And, y’know, that does happen. Make no mistake about it, Yulan and Violette don’t technically have much bad happen to them here compared to the previous four books in the series. And the book ends with them as a couple. And they are happy with each other, and in love with each other. They even have a child. That said, Their upbringing and the abuse we’ve seen since the start of the series still influences everything they do and think, and as the book goes on you realize that its characters are still, to a large extent, in a dark place that they may never really get out of. But honestly, that’s very realistic, and at this point in the series I guess a happy, fluffy ending would have felt hideously out of place.

The book picks up immediately after the end of the last one. Violette and Marin have escaped from her house and are living in a hotel, and shortly after Yulan moves them to the estate in the country his family owns that he now controls, to his surprise. (Marin is there because Yulan knows that Violette can’t function without her, and Yulan is allowed to be with Violette as Marin knows she would fall to bits without him. The two of them have a somewhat malevolent understanding.) Meanwhile, Rosette has married Claudia, and there’s going to be an heir. Unfortunately, Yulan’s golden eyes are still an issue, and everyone’s doing their best to plot a coup with him as the centerpiece. So for now he waits, and does the overwork they’re giving him, and patiently twiddles his thumbs till the kingdom gets to the point where he’s able to ignore that and do what he’s wanted to do all along – care about his wife and only his wife, and no one else. OK, maybe their child. Possibly.

There are a few side stories at the end of the book, as we get the POV of Violette’s mother, father, stepmother, and Maryjune. Maryjune, at least, has come to terms with her upbringing and her part in it, and has resigned herself to marrying a man twice her age in a political marriage, which is framed as good. These stories should be horrifying, and they are, but to me they pale in comparison to Violette and Yulan every time we see the inside of their heads. Unsurprisingly, Violette is terrified that she’ll end up turning into her mother if she ever gives birth. Yulan wonders if he’d even be able to care about the child. The final scene with the child seems to relieve these fears, somewhat, but it sums up the series perfectly that the end of their story is not “look at our cute child playing with laundry soap bubbles” but “we both despise our mothers for what they did, and it fills us with rage, and that’s perfectly OK.” Everyone in this is still damaged to the end, they’re just damaged with each other. Sometimes that’s all you can ask.

The author suggests that readers try the manga as a “different experience”. Certainly when I tried to read it it seemed to be far more generic and less traumatizing. Stick with the light novel, which will kick you in the stomach and push your face into mud, but it’s still spellbinding and you can’t look away.

The Countess Is a Coward No More! This Reincarnated Witch Just Wants a Break, Vol. 1

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By Ageha Sakura and TCB. Released in Japan as “Tensei Saki ga Kiyowa Sugiru Hakushaku Fujin datta” by Overlap Novels f. Released in North America by J-Novel Heart. Translated by Bérénice Vourdon.

I hadn’t realized till I’d finished this book that the author also wrote a book I read less than two months ago, also a J-Novel Heart title, Lady Bumpkin and Her Lord Villain. That one came before this one, I think, which may explain one reason why this book does not bother with any of the heroine’s coward period. We open on page 1 with her getting her memories from a past life back, and after a short “everyone was abusing her since the day she was born” explanation, our heroine never looks back, taking control of her life and making sweeping changes. And honestly, I will admit that that’s probably for the best, though I have one caveat I’ll get to later. Lam, the countess, was a magical legend 500 years ago, and now she’s in the future where magic is much less impressive and much more oppressed. Shades of Reborn to Master the Blade, but Lam is quite happy to continue using magic, as long as she can retrain her weak body. You’ve read this sort of thing before.

Lam was born into a commoner-turned-baron’s household, and when she was found to have residual mana in her she was abused and belittled by her entire family. When she came of age she was sold to an earl, who doesn’t care about her, and is beaten and abused by her servants. Then one day, after getting hit one too many times, she remembers she used to be the legendary with Aurora, who was powerful, saved many people, and had equally powerful apprentices. Sadly, she can’t remember how she died, but that’s not important right now. What is important is beating the shit out of every servant, firing their asses, and getting a divorce from her husband. She’s successful in all but the last of these – now that she’s no longer a nervous wreck who can’t respond to anyone, he finds her super attractive. Even more so when he sees the magic she can now wield…

So, two issues with this book, one of which is not the author’s fault. The petty issue is it makes me think of the Kenny Rogers song Coward of the County, which I hate. The less petty issue is there’s a lot of “if only she’s been stronger and stood up to her bullies she might have been able to fix things”, which always irritates me, mostly as it’s still a prevailing attitude to this day. Other than that, this is fun enough. Lam is the sort who likes to pretend that she’s got it all together even when she doesn’t, and is at her most interesting when she’s struggling with stamina/romance, or when she’s forging new family bonds. Char, the earl and her husband, seems to be the classic “stoic uncaring guy whose heart is opened by a woman”, only it turns out he’s also a massive Aurora otaku, which is the funniest part of the book. Also, unlike a lot of books like this, this was written knowing there would be more than one volume, so there’s a cliffhanger.

Also, Lam’s sisters are named Lem and Lim. Presumably Lom and Lum were busy doing the Pink Panther movies and Urusei Yatsura. For fans of the disgraced noble genre, even though the disgrace all happens before the novel starts.

Reign of the Seven Spellblades, Vol. 12

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By Bokuto Uno and Miyuki Ruria. Released in Japan as “Nanatsu no Maken ga Shihai suru” by Dengeki Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Andrew Cunningham.

I’ve talked before about how my desire to see the main six cast members live happily ever after is warring with the narrative, which keeps underlining how Oliver and Katie are doomed. With this episode, I get the feeling that we’re going to be adding everyone else to that list as well, and make this an All Or Nothing type of series. The two characters who have gotten the least focus get attention here, and while Pete is mostly setup for future volumes (with one huge exception which I’ll get to later), Guy’s arc is looking to be a lot more dangerous and potentially fatal. Generally speaking I’ve always thought of Guy and Chela as “the sensible ones”, and this book is here to throw that out the window and remind me that absolutely everyone in that group is weird as hell. Of course he survives – none of them will die till at least Oliver explains what he’s doing. But yikes, I don’t wish what he has to go through on anyone else… wait, absolutely the wrong way to put that.

Despite the fact that Guy and Pete get much more focus here, the publisher still knows who its big sellers are, so Oliver and Nanao are on the cover again, along with new teacher Rod Farquois, who will be taking over astronomy, is a reversi just like Pete, and absolutely no one knows what they’re up to – it’s very clear they’re not here at the school’s request. As for the main plot, half of it … again, we’re coming to it… but the last half of the book is a rescue arc, as Guy, Ursule Valois’ twin attendants, and forgotten first book teen bully Annie Mackley are trapped on the second floor of the labyrinth, which is dealing with someone consumed by the spell, and he’s turned the floor into his own cursed treehouse of horrors. Everyone will be going there to rescue Guy/the twins (sorry, Annie, no one really likes you), but can they do it before Guy makes an irreversible decision?

I hate to be a broken record, but my god this series is horny. It’s baked into the plot, as it’s hinted that one of the main reasons that our heroes are suffering so much right now is that they’re not banging each other on the regular. Pete, at least, takes care of that in one of the more startling scenes in the book, where he confronts Oliver in his female body and takes him to bed. Oliver, of course, is doing similar things with Nanao, and Chela helped him earlier. Katie loves Oliver, but knows he’s rejecting her, so is snuggling Guy every chance she gets. Guy likes Katie, so is helping her with this. Third-year Rita likes Guy too, and is angry at Katie. And we also meet Leoncio’s sister, a third year who is absolutely his distaff counterpart, and who seems to be constantly aroused. I don’t think that all Oliver’s problems would be solved with an orgy… unless?

This is another book that ends WHAM, no epilogue at all, so I’m not sure what happens next. The cover to Vol. 13 sure looks like a “Breaking of the fellowship” situation, though, huh? In any case, please read about these powerful and pent-up idiots.