An Introvert’s Hookup Hiccups: This Gyaru Is Head Over Heels for Me!, Vol. 9

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By Yuishi and Kagachisaku. Released in Japan as “Inkya no Boku ni Batsu Game de Kokuhaku Shitekita Hazu no Gal ga, Dō Mitemo Boku ni Beta Bore Des” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Satoko Kakihara.

I honestly hope that this series does get an anime some day. Not just because it’s cute and sexy and all that. Some of you may recall back in the day there was a manga called My Dress-Up Darling, which also spawned an anime. That anime spawned Episode 11 of same. And Episode 11 spawned 80 million fanfics on AO3, the basic summary is “but what if they’d had sex?”. And that’s not going to happen with a light-novel only series like this is now, but if it gets an anime, I can’t help but think that frustrated fanfic writers are going to take matters in their own hands. Not only have they only kissed (and not even with tongue, as Nanami is reminded by her teacher), but their every move is now being watched to make sure they don’t go too far in the school. And yet these two have no idea what the definition of “too far” is. They revel in being sexy together.

Last time the author said we’d finally be getting the class trip, but I was dubious, given that the cover art showed what was clearly a sports festival. And yes, that’s absolutely what we get in the first half, as a reluctant Yoshin is convinced by Nanami to actually try for a change, and they end up competing in the Piggyback Race, a couples event where the goal seems to be “how embarrassing can we make things?”. That said, the back half of the book actually does give us the preparation and the setup for the class trip, which ends up being in Hawaii. This is possibly not the wonderful news you’d expect. Both Yoshin and Nanami’s parents had their honeymoons there, and given Yoshin has already proposed – more than once – they joke that this will be a “pre-honeymoon” for the couple. Which gives them ideas. Ideas of getting even closer. They may even get to extreme hand-holding.

Theoretically this book is still a sort of “guide” to new couples who may be reading it, showing the value of communicating everything to your partner and being open about your feelings and desires. The difficulty is that Yoshin and Nanami have a broken sense of shame. They don’t have NO sense of shame, otherwise this would be a very different series, and possibly in the Ghost Ship line. But it seems to activate late, which means they have no idea that they’re talking about intimate couple things while they’re in class surrounded by other students. Nanami in particular has this funny combination of innocence and salaciousness, meaning she can say things like “When you’re ready, feel free to really take me for a ride” and not get the implications, but also spend at least a minute sensuously licking and biting her boyfriend’s ear. I think being a guide on how to be an open loving couple has long left town.

Will they finally go further in the 10th book, when they’re in Hawaii? Probably not. But I’m sure we’ll all want to read it anyway.

I Could Never Be a Succubus!, Vol. 5

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By Nora Kohigashi and Wasabi. Released in Japan as “Watashi wa Succubus Ja Arimasen” by Hero Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Roy Nukia.

(This review assumes you want to be spoiled about the last third of the book.)

I will always love the fact that this series is “come for the horny, stay for the funny”. And rest assured, this is still a very horny series. But there are several points in this volume where it appears that the book is finally going to take a bit of a serious bent, and then it absolutely takes a wild leap back into the broadest comedy. And that’s good, as this is one of the few light novel series that does broad comedy really well. Even the horny – especially the horny – works so well because it’s so over the top that you can’t really kinkshame it. So yes, Liz really will where those panties with the magic-infused elephant trunk that can act like a real penis, because it means the artist will have to draw art of it, and make it funnier. And thus, when we resolve the cliffhanger from the last book, with the new hero menacing everyone, it turns out to be hysterical.

Dia the new hero, shows up and proceeds to not only give Cain a serious wound, but also kidnap Liz. That said, once Liz finds out what’s going on, she realizes that not only is Dia not nearly as villainous as previously advertised, but she’s also a cute young catgirl, which sets Liz’s heart throbbing, though she’s not quite sure why. Liz is rescued soon enough, but finds herself teleporting back to Dia’s location (basically figuring out a teleportation spell on the fly and instantly doing it perfectly, which reminds you how powerful this horny succubus really is), where she finds that Dia not only does the bare minimum of cooking and cleaning, but wears… bloomers! With holes in them! And no bra! This will not stand! It’s time for a lingerie shopping trip!

I ended up trying to overthink this. Yes, as it turns out, Dia’s story about her having the “real” hero sword and Cain’s being a suspicious fake does in fact turn out to possibly be the case but that’s not what drives the climax. The entire climax is driven by the scene where Cain walks into the lingerie shop and sees not only Liz but also Dia, and we realize that he already knows the new hero very well. Once all the identities are revealed, this gets even funnier… at least until we get to the fight to the “death”, which, of course, Cain wins. Again, this should be a dramatic scene, either tear-jerking or heartwarming, and it’s 100% undercut by Liz literally holding up cue cards for the reluctant Cain to read aloud to resolve things properly. Hell, even the sad finale where she leaves to find herself is ruined by Liz, albeit unconsciously. The main reason they want Liz’s memory back is so that when they punish her she actually a) knows why, and b) enjoys it again.

Again, I don’t recommend this to anyone who is not ready for our heroine to be dressed in panties with a working penis shaped like an elephant trunk on the front. But if you are, this remains 10% cool, 10% heartwarming, 30% sex-obsessed, and 50% LOL.

Private Tutor to the Duke’s Daughter: The Angel That Broke the Star Oath

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By Riku Nanano and cura. Released in Japan as “Koujo Denka no Kateikyoushi” by Fujimi Fantasia Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by William Varteresian.

I’ve talked before about how this series really loves being a harem title, but it’s not just that the harem writing is done very well (though it is). It’s that the harem antics actually manage to take over every OTHER aspect of the series. The battle scenes are crisp and action-filled, and also filled with banter as the heroines literally encourage each other by saying that they’re going to be the one who marries Allen, forcing the other person to fight EVEN HARDER so that they can deny that possibility. We get the tragic backstory that has led to much of this series, and it turns out it’s because the heroine was unable to save her version of Allen and went mad with the revelation. Nobles are furious with Allen simply because of the sheer number of young superpowerful girls he has at his disposal. Hell, even the resurrected corpse of his dead best friend is cheering him on and urging him to keep saving the girl no matter what. It’s kind of hilarious.

Allen and Stella remains trapped deep underground, with Stella’s body having been taken over by a dangerous-looking angel. Ellie has escaped to tell everyone what’s going on, but the Sealed Archive is not letting anyone come in the way that they originally did. And of course there are those who simply want to leave Allen there, though one of the more annoying antagonistic nobles grudgingly admits Allen is what is needed here. But eventually we get a squad to go into the catacombs under the city and go *up* to rescue Allen, led by Lydia, Caren, Tina and Ellie. Unfortunately, the religious folks are behind all this, and have sent more than one apostles to stop everyone, including a very familiar face to Allen, Lydia, and Cheryl.

I’ve been whining for a long time that I wish the series would do a massive flashback to show Allen and Lydia’s school days, and this is the first volume where we get a flashback that lasts longer than a couple of pages. It shows that, unsurprisingly, school life mostly consisted of Lydia and Cheryl fighting each other every day to see who gets the right to say they’re Allen’s Number One Girl. Allen, naturally, does not get a say in the matter. (I did briefly wonder what would happen if anyone asked him his opinion on being in love with any of the girls, but his self-deprecation is too high for that to work.) But there’s also Allen’s best male friend Zelbert, who seems to be the classic snarky glasses-wearing best friend of the hero type, but who we already know died before the main story began, and here we see why that happened, as well as Zelbert’s own tragic past. If you’re going to fire off the flashback guns, this is an excellent way to do it.

Unfortunately, it turns out our heroes did not win as much as they may have thought, though at least Stella is not evil. The next volume promises – again – more Tina and less Lydia. We’ll see.