Guillotine Bride: I’m Just a Dragon Girl Who’ll Destroy the World

June 4, 2024 by Leave a Comment

By Daigo Murasaki and Kayahara. Released in Japan as “Dantōdai no Hanayome: Sekai o Horobosu Futsutsukana Tatsuki Desu ga” by Fujimi Fantasia Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Kiki Piatkowski.

I almost wish this was worse. If there was something offensive about it, something that made me want to scream in rage (still looking at you, Livid Lady), I’d have no issues writing this review at all. Unfortunately, this has the misfortune of being bad in a bland, flavorless way, and so I’m reduced to looking down at my word count and see I still have 400 words to go. I joked on Twitter that this was a novelization of a harem anime from 2002, and it really felt like one… in all the worst ways. And, of course, it ended up being a cancelled series, so we’re not even getting any more of it. The author apparently also wrote Demon Lord 2099… which I didn’t even start to read. We get three love interests here (plus the childhood friend, who I fear suffered most from the cancellation as she’s barely in this), but none of them have the personality or pizzazz to carry a series. It’s just so… meh.

We open on a kangaroo court condemning a teenage girl, whose dragon powers can apparently destroy the world, to be executed, despite the efforts of the girl’s one friend. We then cut to a typical high school student council, where our hero Ryuunosuke is the vice president, and tends to do all the work. He has an assistant, a beautiful girl who’s in love with him. He has a cute childhood friend. The president is a cool beauty. Then he walks home, and a dragon girl, who had been blown out of the sky from the helicopter taking her to the execution, lands in front of him. Now he not only finds himself drawn to the girl, as he has the power to control her “destroy the world” shenanigans, but also his student council are far less normal than he expected.

So. Rinne is the dragon girl, and… she doesn’t have much of a personality beyond “loves Ryuunosuke and argues with Mari”. Mari is Ryuunosuke’s assistant in the student council, a vampire, and doesn’t have much more of a personality than Rinne, though I will grant it is a little more. Ranko is the student council president, cool scientist type, and mistress of exposition, and she doesn’t get much to do here except get shot and have a last minute surprise that doesn’t matter as there isn’t a second volume. And it’s not much of a surprise. As for Ryuunosuke… he’s Touma. He’s Tenchi. He’s Keitaro. He’s the sort of hero that Araragi and Hachiman are there to deconstruct. He is also boring as hell, and naturally when Rinne tries to strip and seduce him, his reaction is more “Whaaaaaaaaat?” than anything else. Even the final fight is kinda boring.

So yeah. Dunno why this was licensed. Anime coming? It might actually work better as an anime. It’s mind-numbing in print.

Filed Under: guillotine bride, reviews

Durarara!! Side Stories?!

June 3, 2024 by Leave a Comment

By Ryohgo Narita and Suzuhito Yasuda. Released in Japan by Dengeki Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Stephen Paul.

Even more than the Index SS volumes, I’m surprised that this is coming out over here at all. With Index, at least, you can argue that the SS books genuinely affect the plot of future novels. This one is a collection mostly of stories that ran in one or more of Dengeki’s 87 million tie-in magazines, and half the book is a tie-in to either a Japanese video service or a Narita series that has not been licensed over here and likely will never be unless it gets an anime. That said… it’s still a fun volume, because this is Durarara!!, and it’s ridiculous, and I’m just happy to spend more time with these idiots. There are no short stories in here that made me annoyed, though I will note that two of them do accidentally feature the same sort of thing. As for Vamp!… yeah, can’t do anything about that. Hope that Vamp! gets an anime.

The stories: 1) While eating the hot pot as seen in the main novels, we get “what were Mikado and Masaomi like as kids?”, “how did Anri and Mika become twisted friends?”, and “how did Shizuo and Tom meet?”. 2) A goon decides to impersonate Shizuo, a decision so hilariously awful that the rest of the story coasts by on “watch him suffer”. 3) Some quick hit short-shorts starring Celty. 4) We hear about the coming-of-age ceremony of Shizuo, Izaya, Kadota and Shinra. You can imagine how well it goes. 5) A desperate Erika tries to get Celty to become a Niconico streaming star, as Erika is in a war with a rival streamer. The identity of this rival may surprise you. Or not. 6) In a crossover with Vamp!, an unnamed succubus comes to Japan to feed off the desires of victims, but quickly realizes that everyone in this series is dangerously unhinged.

There are, honestly, two short stories here that are head and shoulders above the others, and unsurprisingly they’re the two that feature information that we really should have gotten in the main series. Mika and Anri’s meeting and subsequent friendship is not only driven by Mika’s supposed “need to have someone around to make her look better”, but also the culture of high school bullying in Japan, and she’s fantastic in it. (Speaking of Mika, the succubus chapter points out that while she’s obsessed with Seiji, there is zero sexual desire involved.) The other really good story is Shizuo meeting Tom, who right away is absolutely the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Elsewhere, the fake Shizuo story was very silly and dumb, though I liked seeing Vorona again. The succubus story (I don’t think she’s a cast regular in Vamp!) mostly serves to show off how bonkers Walker is. And there’s honestly too much Erika here. Finally, the book’s surrounding interstitial material is basically “Shinra and Celty are adorable”, which we already know.

DRRR!! fans should feel happy reading this, and are now doubt asking Yen about Vamp! as we speak. It’s a nice look back.

Filed Under: durarara!!, reviews

Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Astrea Record, Vol. 2

June 2, 2024 by Leave a Comment

By Fujino Omori and Kakage. Released in Japan as “Astrea Record Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka?” by GA Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Jake Humphrey.

I hate to break it to the author of this series, but the core readership are not 15-year-olds. They, I think, would get the most out of Lyu’s angsty rage and Erebus’ ridiculous trolley problems. The core audience of this series are the ones who have followed it since it began, which means my guess is most are in their thirties. And those folks might find Lyu’s emo teen phase just a little annoying. Or indeed a lot annoying. It’s very true to teenage life, I will admit, but I mean, having Lyu throw a shitfit is baked into her backstory already, do we really need for it to happen again, especially in a novel based on a game story that cannot actually affect canon? Fortunately, there are good parts to this book, including several rousing speeches. But honestly, if you want a light novel version of the “yet you participate in society! Curious. I am very intelligent!” cartoon by Matt Bors, you’re in the right place.

The cover shows Lyu looking down at the ground, despondent and despairing. Behind her is Ardee, who is smiling broadly, possibly as she’s dead and therefore doesn’t have to be in this book. Ardee’s death weighs heavily on a lot of people in this book, and she’s not the only one who’s died. The Evils are on the loose, and their goal is to make the adventurers give up. Lyu, being one of the shiniest and most idealistic of them, is the perfect breaking point, so Erebus is determined to break her. In the meantime there’s tons of fights, deaths,. gore and despair, but also some really cool life-saving, desperately never giving up, and some strong speeches by Finn, who has either been reading Churchill or Henry V. Who will win? (This is a prequel taking place 7 years before the series begins. We know who will win. And yet.)

There is one point in this volume that is easily the best by far, and it’s when Lyu, who is acting like a child, runs into 9-year-old Ais, a literal child, and the two of them have what is basically the sword version of a slapfight. I especially love Riveria, who stops the fight not by yelling at them, or by getting in between them, but by bonking Ais on the top of the head like she’s in Yotsuba&!. It was a lovely break from the rest of the volume, which is made up of half “Become vengeance, Lyu. Become wrath.” and half “I know you’re still in there so fight, damn you!” Astrea Familia gets a lot of time on the page, but I’d argue that the stronger moments go to the characters we know from the main series. There’s nothing wrong with Astrea’s folks, they’re just don’t have the raw impact of, say, Syr cheering them up while also handing out soup to everyone (a moment that works even better after the events of Book 18).

There’s one more to go, and hopefully we’ll get some answers about the Zeus and Hera bad guys, because let me tell you, I do not give two shits about any of the other villains. Still worth it for Danmachi fans, but prepare to be frustrated.

Filed Under: is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon?, reviews
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