Spy x Family: Family Portrait

By Aya Yajima, based on the series by Tatsuya Endo. Released in Japan as “SPY×FAMILY: Kazoku no Shōzō” by Jump Books. Released in North America by Viz Media. Translated by Casey Loe.

It’s always difficult to review these spinoff/tie-in novels. By their very definition, they cannot affect the main series in any way. There can’t be plot progression, or significant character development. Usually, there also can’t be a dramatic plotline or cool action scenes either. The novel is not here to provide anything that can’t be done better in the parent manga. Instead, it’s here to give us fun stories using the series’ sandbox to play around in. The author thinks of cute ideas, gets approval from the creator and the Jump editorial staff, and then writes them down. Then Tatsuya Endo reads the stories and gives us an illustration for each of them. If you want to call it a success or failure, then as a product it’s a definite success. This feels very Spy x Family-esque. As something a fan of the series can read and think “I think the world of the manga is better for these short stories”, it’s probably a failure. These are very basic.

The book consists of four “main” stories and one very short story. In the first story, Anya, Damian, and the class go on a “Nature’s Classroom” expedition, and an overconfident Anya causes her and Damian to get lost in the woods. In the rain. In the second story, Yuri is asked to babysit Anya, and ends up taking her to a children’s career fair, where kids can pretend to be any number of things, from a police officer to a jewelry maker. In the third short story, Franky meets a blind singer in the hospital when recovering from an injury, and consoles her about an upcoming operation, while also bemoaning his appearance. The fourth story is the “title” story, as our family, on an outing, is seen by a painter, who wants to paint them. Unfortunately, he’s incredibly famous, and Yor is worried that if her portrait is seen everywhere, it will jeopardize her assassin job. In the final short, two waitresses moan about the lack of good men and gush over regular patrons the Forgers being the “perfect” loving family.

The best story in the book is easily the one with Yuri and Anya, and Endo agrees with me. It’s a clever idea, makes good use of the characters, and is funny. Its only problem is it stars Yuri, and I hate Yuri, so I did not enjoy it. But that’s on me. Aside from that, the stories suffer from having the most obvious resolution there is. Anya and Damian find a cave, and both get closer when the rainstorm brings lightning. Franky’s story would be touching if it had not already been done eighty times before, and the family portrait story, while fun, also has a punchline that I predicted the moment the painter said “can I paint you?”. In addition, Loid and Yor really don’t get much to do here except in that one story, and the book feels a bit empty without them – Anya can’t carry everything on her own, much less Yuri or Frankly.

This is, as I said, perfectly good product, but it’s also the definition of inessential.

Dahlia in Bloom: Crafting a Fresh Start with Magical Tools, Vol. 8

By Hisaya Amagishi and Kei. Released in Japan as “Madougushi Dahlia wa Utsumukanai” by MF Books. Released in North America by J-Novel Heart. Translated by Osman Wong.

It’s bad enough when Dahlia deliberately invents something that will revolutionize the world (no, not like that), but it’s even worse when Dahlia does it accidentally. The theme to this book is “Dahlia invents ______ but doesn’t immediately see the commercial application for it”, and while we’ve seen that plot before it’s never been hammered home quite as much as it is here. Dahlia invents memory foam. Dahlia invents beanbag chairs. Dahlia invents better breast pads. Dahlia invents… well, no one is quite sure what it’s good for, but we’ll think of something later. It’s that last one that gets her in trouble, as “what it’s good for” is magical fodder for magical horses, meaning that expeditions need far less room for hay/etc. Dahlia and Volf both think this is really cool. Guido thinks this is really terrifying, as the nation next door who hates them has a LOT of magical horses, and would kill to have this new invention. Or, more accurately, kidnap. Dahlia needs better protection.

I pretty much summed up the bulk of the plot above, though we do get one other major arc. Dahlia goes on an expedition with Volf and company to watch them take down Giant Monster Crabs (they hit its weak point for massive damage, trust me), and while there she meets the old vice-captain of the group, now retired. Bernigi is rather grumpy at first, as he’s unsatisfied with how “soft” the unit is with all Dahlia’s new inventions. As we learn more about him we see that he’s also still grieving for his son, who had the standard “I will get into a fight with my dad and then go fight monsters and get killed and so leave everything unresolved” plot. He also has a wooden prosthesis as he lost a leg in battle, and it’s not a great one. Fortunately, it breaks in front of Dahlia, and she (for once) deliberately invents something fantastic. Oh yes, and it turns out Bernigi’s got a grandson who’s very familiar to the readers.

Fans of the Dahlia/Volf relationship will once again be pleased but also frustrated. Dahlia is told that loved ones frequently embroider designs onto a man’s undershirt to give some blessing and protection. She decides to do this for Volf, and ends up embroidering a design that is a flower (dahlia) and a wolf (Volf) intertwined. It’s so good she ends up using it as the Emblem of her company. But she remains 100% oblivious to the meaning of this, even when told point blank. They’re pals! As for Volf, Guido tells him point blank to marry Dahlia in order to protect her from foreign infiltrators kidnapping her and forcing her to invent, and his first thought is “what else could we do?”. They’re buddies! Volf remains SLIGHTLY ahead of Dahlia in terms of self-awareness, as when Guido suggests adopting Dahlia instead, making her and Volf siblings, he feels vaguely uncomfortable but is not sure why. They’re so cute. I want to strangle them.

The 9th volume just came out in Japan (with a new artist), so we should see that soon. I’m 100% sure it won’t end with Dahlia and Volf hooking up, though,. The slowest of slow burns.

I Could Never Be a Succubus!, Vol. 1

By Nora Kohigashi and Wasabi. Released in Japan as “Watashi wa Succubus Ja Arimasen” by Hero Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Roy Nukia.

Sure, it’s always nice when a book that you have high expectations for manages to justify them, but I’ve always been even more fond of books I expected to be utter trash being… well, slightly better than utter trash. I’m not about to say that I Could Never Be a Succubus! should take its place alongside Ascendance of a Bookworm or The Apothecary Diaries. It has consent issues and sometimes suspends disbelief more than I’d like. But I mean, the premise of this series, so I’d heard, was that a noble girl, on seeing the hero who is supposed to defeat the demon lord, arrive at her academy, asks if she can have his underpants. My expectations were THROUGH THE FLOOR. I only read this as I thought it would be amusingly bad. Instead I found it amusing but very readable, and it even has a bit of depth to it. And a great deal of this is due to my completely misreading how this premise was going to go.

A year before the main events in this book, the hero’s party battled the demon lord, and only survived due to the sacrifice of one of their members. A year later, Lisalinde is a student at the national academy. Gorgeous, polite, with great academics and strong magical powers, she’s loved by (almost) all of the student body. Then the hero’s party arrives. They’re still recovering from the battle, so are temporarily enrolling as students. And yes, as I stated above, Lisalinde, on seeing the hero, impulsively asks for his underpants. She’s appalled at herself. She has no idea why it happened. And what’s more, the more she gets to know the hero and his party members, the more perverse thoughts she starts to have. Has she REALLY not met them before? What’s going on?

So, sorry to spoil (it’s on Page 3), but Liselinde, aka Liz, is the party member who sacrificed herself to save the hero and the others. As a result, she’s lost her last two years of memories. Which means she has no idea that she is, in fact, a succubus. Who has already seduced the hero. And the lady knight who is his fiancee. And the adorable cleric who is his other fiance. This book goes back and forth between the present and the past, and that’s why it’s so funny, because Liz in the present is a seemingly normal girl struggling with terrifying impulses, while the Liz of the past, well aware she’s a succubus, will seduce anything that moves, and does so. (There’s no explicit sex in this, but there is a giant pile of IMPLICIT sex.) Liz can be a lot – she’s been known to drug food and drink with aphrodisiacs – but she clearly loves her fellow party members, and it’s obvious that they all miss her and want to get her memories back. I am assuming that there is a very good reason they can’t just tell her – but we don’t get it in this book.

There are six volumes of this to date in Japan, and I’m not sure how long it can sustain its premise. But if you enjoy ecchi comedies with a lovable sex maniac girl doing the cast… or if you love ecchi comedies with a pure young maiden horrified at her dirty mind… well, Liz gives you both.