Once Upon a Witch’s Death: The Tale of the One Thousand Tears of Joy

April 30, 2024 by Leave a Comment

By Saka and Chorefuji. Released in Japan as “Aru Majo ga Shinu Made: Owari no Kotoba to Hajimari no Namida” by DENGEKI no Shin Bungei. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Richard Tobin.

I rarely begin a review by noting whether the series is continuing in Japan or not, but it actually makes a difference in how we’re supposed to take this story in this case. Yen is releasing this as a one-shot, and Dengeki seems to have had no desire to release any more since this came out in Japan in December 2021. But if this is the only volume, then the plot sort of becomes irrelevant. It’s not a story of how a girl tries to gain powerful “tears” in order to avoid her impending death, because that plot, spoiling a bit, is not remotely resolved. Instead, it becomes a sort of slice-of-life book starring a very fun main character. And that’s great, don’t get me wrong, but it makes the ending seem like this was more of a parable than a novel, with a final revelation that kind of made me go “ergh”. Which is a shame, because Meg really *is* a great main character.

Meg Raspberry is an apprentice witch. When she was a young girl, her parents passed away, but she was taken in by a witch who saw her potential power. That witch was also the Eternal Witch, Faust, so Meg actually ends up in a pretty cushy position. Unfortunately, when the novel opens, we hear Faust tell Meg that she is cursed, and has a year to live. Unless she collects “one thousand tears of joy”, she will age 100 years within a day and pass away. Unfortunately, getting these tears is very difficult, and getting one thousand is next to impossible. Given that… why not just have Meg go about her normal life in Lapis, an English village? While trying to pick up these tears along the way, by helping people and having them cry with happiness?

Meg is, frankly, a hoot. The Japanese reviews of this book all say she “talks like a middle-aged man”, and there is a bit of that. She’s excessively tomboyish and casual, and is not above pretending to perv on her friends as a joke. She’s also a bundle of positivity (which she calls her one good trait), can get along with absolutely everyone, and has a knack for making people feel better. She’s also really good at magic, though she seems to think she’s still an amateur, mostly as she’s surrounded by the most powerful witches in the world. I really wanted to see how she would either succeed (if this is a heartwarming series) or fail (if this was a tearjerker). Unfortunately, the book ends a good 9 months before the deadline, with Faust hinting that what Meg was told may not be the entire truth after all, and that this might be for a totally different reason. Which… didn’t sit well with me.

So yes, if this ever gets more books (the webnovel apparently continued to a conclusion), I’ll happily read more. As it is, though, for once we really do have a book that is lessened by being part of a “cancelled” series.

Filed Under: once upon a witch's death, reviews

Haibara’s Teenage New Game+, Vol. 6

April 29, 2024 by Leave a Comment

By Kazuki Amamiya and Gin. Released in Japan as “Haibara-kun no Tsuyokute Seishun New Game” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Esther Sun.

There’s always been an element of drama to this series, which has sort of waffled between teen romcom and teen angst at times. But this volume pretty much jettisons the humor entirely, and any romance we get is of the tortured variety. This is also to be expected. Natsuki may have 7 extra years on the rest of the cast, but that does not make him any less of a dumbass when trying to see feelings that are so close to his nose that they’re invisible to him. We also not only get a nice round of high school bullying here, but also how how it ties in to elementary school bullying from the past, and that “conformity”, needless to say, is rewarded, while being an outcast gets you… well, even more outcasted. And then of course there is Miori, who has apparently decided that everything is her fault, that she’s the worst person alive, and that the only solution left to her is to fix the “alive” part. Fortunately, this isn’t quite THAT dark a high school romantic drama.

Nasty rumors are spreading throughout the school, helped along by a girl who really hates Miori (because of her relationship with Reita, of course), and Miori has actually been home from school for a week. Though honestly that’s more due to the fallout from realizing just how much she loves Natsuki and despairing about how it’s far too late to do anything about it. Natsuki, of course, is also not being helped here, given that he’s accused of cheating on his girlfriend with another girl. As for Hikari, everyone’s worried about how she takes this, but honestly we may need to be more worried about what she feels after she hears the actual truth. Unfortunately, Miori eventually snaps and decides to run away… and Natsuki worries she may take things even further.

So yes, word of warning, there is a suicide attempt in this book. That said, it’s resolved fairly quickly, and there are not many “real world” aftereffects, mostly as only Miori and Natsuki know what she was about to do. That said, honestly, the best scene in the book comes right before he rescues her, when he confronts Reita, who is determined to rescue her first and win over Natsuki. Natsuki, naturally, is livid, pointing out that Reita is only thinking of himself and not Miori at all. Accurate, and this leads to the cliffhanger of the book, where Reita apparently decides to solve his problems by becoming a delinquent and getting suspended. I think these teens need better coping mechanisms, honestly. I’m sure Reita will be the subject of the next book, though how his relationship with Miori will fall out (or fall apart) remains to be seen.

The next book is gonna be a bit, though – this volume only came out in December. So feel relief that Natsuki was able to defuse things, and hope that Hikari can get over her hangups about cooking. And Miori, please feel better soon.

Filed Under: haibara's teenage new game+, reviews

A Livid Lady’s Guide to Getting Even: How I Crushed My Homeland with My Mighty Grimoires, Vol. 1

April 28, 2024 by Leave a Comment

By Hagure Metabo and masami. Released in Japan as “Buchigire Reijō wa Hōfuku wo Chikaimashita. Madōsho no Chikara de Sokoku wo Tataki Tsubushimasu” by HJ Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Heart. Translated by Rymane Tsouria.

I’ve read quite a few bad books in my day. Some are so boring or annoying I don’t even finish them, hence they don’t get reviewed. Some are so hilariously bad I can do a “funny” review of how bad the book is. But it’s rare that I’ve come across a book so bad it makes me angry. In fact, ironically, it makes me livid, which is something that we almost never see from Ellie, the antagonist of this book. She spends almost the entire book in a sort of stoic indifference, and we’re meant to know that she’s furious because she says so. I like to think she sounds like Marvin the Martian when she talks about how angry she is. That in itself is not enough to make me angry about this book. Hell, not even the “oh, bandits aren’t human, so it’s fine to murder them” or “let’s go buy a slave!” are quite enough. No, it’s the ending.

You can probably guess how this book opens. Yup. Elizabeth Leiston, the fiance to the crown prince of Haldoria, is accused in public of being mean to the prince’s true love, the daughter of a baron. She’s arrested by the prince’s knight Robert and taken to prison. She knows that the prince is only doing this because the king and the prime minister – her father – are away. However, when the two hear about this, they assume the hypercompetent Elizabeth will escape in no time, bop the crown prince on the nose like he’s a puppy who pooped on the rug, and go back to secretly running the kingdom on her own. Instead, she spends a month in prison, reading and getting more annoyed. When her maid (also hypercompetent – no one grows or learns in this book) confirms that the king and her father just laid back and assumed she’d fix things, she decides to escape, flee the country, and get her revenge. Little did I know her revenge would not be typical “villainess novel” revenge, or even Greek Tragedy revenge, but “15 year old fanfic writer who’s just discovered the “gore” tag on AO3″ revenge.

Again, the first three-quarters of this book are bad, but in a “normal” way. Elizabeth, now calling herself Ellie, has magic grimoires that essentially make her omnipotent. She hires a 10-year-old – for once, not an orphan – to work for her. She also buys a slave, but it’s OK, because this slave comes from the “good” slave dealer who treats his slaves well. Note this slave is not paid except for “some pocket money”. She runs a cosmetics business (again, like so many other villainess books) until her old kingdom, who have decided that the crown prince’s reputation is more important than hers so have labeled her a monster, decides to stage an invasion. This is just garden variety bad. It started to get worse when we ran across the village of amateur solders who decided to rape a few women. And then we get to the actual start of the revenge, which will no doubt take several volumes, possibly one for each person she’s wronged.

As I noted above, Robert is the crown prince’s guard knight. He also fell in love with the Maria Campbell of this book, who sadly does not have one ounce of Maria’s heroine charm. That said, when the crown prince decides to incite a war using another country as proxy, he begins to realize that this isn’t actually what a good ruler does. So when Ellie shows up with an army led of the Empire’s top adventurers, Robert basically switches sides and gives Ellie the information she needs to resolve the conflict (though the proxy kingdom, of course, is dissolved). He then goes back home with his platoon, and Ellie goes with him… and then she slaughters the platoon and does *something* to Robert. He is found, badly wounded, and returned home to his adorable sister, loving mother, and furious father who is nevertheless happy to see his son alive. And then he slaughters his mother and sister. And then goes outside and starts slaughtering everyone in the shopping district. Yes, we do indeed see adorable children getting cut in two. After all this happens, despite insisting that he wasn’t in charge of his own actions, he is, of course, executed. The revenge is LUDICROUSLY beyond all possible need. Especially given that, frankly, Ellie is not a likable person.

Oh yes, one more thing: why the hell is this a Heart title? There’s no romance in it at all. Is it just because it’s a villainess book? Look, let me break this down. If you want a woman who has given everything for her country betrayed and finding new life with a business in another country, go read A Young Lady Finds Her True Calling Living with the Enemy. If you want to read a badass woman accused of horrible crimes fighting back and salvaging her reputation, go read I’m the Villainess, So I’m Taming the Final Boss. If you want to read this book only with actual humor, go read Prison Life Is Easy for a Villainess. But for Christ’s sake, don’t read this series, which should be buried at a crossroads with a stake in its heart. Fuck it.

Filed Under: a livid lady's guide to getting even, reviews
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