The Tanaka Family Reincarnates, Vol. 6

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By Choko and kaworu. Released in Japan as “Tanaka-ke, Tensei Suru” by Dragon Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Sasha Schiller.

Haaaah. Did I say the 5th volume was Part 1 of 2? Try Part 1 of 3. That said, a lot of what was potentially horrible was taken care of in this volume, and for once it was not directly due to Emma and her family. Though you could argue they did it indirectly. It’s also a great example of how this series can have drama, with real consequences, and then turn on a dime and have the most hilarious bullshit imaginable. The first prince returns from the West, and there’s something… off about him. The Queen can tell something’s wrong, but can’t prove it, and everyone else thinks that things are absolutely fine. But then, he talks to Rose, the king’s concubine who we remember from previous volumes… and doesn’t stare at her enormous breasts. And this fact is SO mind-boggling that everyone immediately gets on board with him being compromised and starts to investigate. The sublime and the ridiculous are married in this series, ad it makes things even funnier, as it takes the edge off the fact that there’s about to be a war.

Emma is back at school, despite most of the student body convinced that she’s dying due to being Too Frail For Words. And just in time, as they’re all going on a field trip to view monsters in the forest, an incredibly dangerous foray that few usually do… except not only are all three Stewarts going, but so are all of Emma’s besties. Naturally the rest of the student body falls into line, including Edward and Arthur… and the King, who has somehow managed to finagle himself onto this so he can see what monsters are really like. What they all find is that this is all part of a crafty plan the Western Empire have been doing to invade and wipe out the kingdom, something unheard of in an age where all nations unite to fight monsters. Is it already… too late?

Lest you think that there’s not enough of Emma being a disaster here, think again. One of the big emotional climaxes also balances between trying to bring the King, who is out of his mind due to being covered with monster blood (which acts like a drug), back to his senses, and also trying to feel the King up because Emma is a giant pervert who loves middle-aged dudes. That said, it’s not ALL laughs. The invasion is very real, and while Juana feels bad about it she is also very dedicated to firing the cannons that will lead to mass death in the capital… death that does not happen thanks to the cats and bugs playing a giant game of “hit the cannonball”. And of course the book ends with the Western Empire sending in very dangerous monsters, which make even the Stewarts act seriously as opposed to just seeing them as food and/or goods. By the end of this book, we’re still about to be at war.

So yeah, things look bad, but they’ve already solved most of the really dangerous issues, and I’ve no doubt that Book 7 will be really silly. Let’s just remember the lesson learned from this volume: no man can resist looking at a pair of really exceptional tits. Unless they’re mind-controlled.

Long Story Short, I’m Living in the Mountains, Vol. 5

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By Asagi and Shino. Released in Japan as “Zenryaku, Yama Kurashi wo Hajimemashita” by Kadokawa Books. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by N. Marquetti.

Yes, it’s time to write the same review for the fifth time. I’ve talked before about slow life books that are not actually slow life at all, but “I want a slow life but I keep having all these girls and wars and battles” books. This is a genine slow life book, with plot twists such as “they go hunting”, “they go hunting again”, and “they eat what they hunted”, where the only surprise is that Sano, a relatively non-athletic sort, doesn’t go with them, so we never see any of the actual hunting. I suppose this fits with previous books, where we’ve heard about the chickens doing amazing things offscreen, but never get to see it. This book is laser focused on Sano, his depression, and his bonds with the folks who live at the foot of his mountain and in the mountains next door. And, of course, his non-romance with any of them. I think by now the author is genuinely trolling the readers about that, though.

Winter is here, and with this book we see the first snow hit Sano’s mountain retreat. His efforts to keep his screen door from freezing over work well, but you get the sense he’s not prepared for a really deep freeze. What’s more, the Katsuragi sisters have gone to town for the winter, so aside from one meal before the snows hit, they mostly communicate by text. Fortunately, he has Aizawa, who stays over at his place for a bit… then he stays over at Aizawa’s for a bit… then the two of them bond at a restaurant over the fact that society expects them to marry. Honestly, a large chunk of this book is BL except for the obvious. That said, not only is Sano still gaga over his chickens, particularly Yuma, the “chicken wife” of the group, but Aizawa still has Rin, his lamia, who is holed up in the house for the winter but you get the sense is definitely what Yuma is to Sano.

If you’ve read the previous reviews of this series, you know what I’m gonna talk about next. Sano is, for the most part, fairly laid back and mellow this book… except for Christmas, where for obvious reasons he slips back into depression. Aizawa too is struggling, as he tried to reconnect with his family recently, only to find that they just wanted to marry him off, so he fled again. Combine this with the Katsuragis fleeing from stalkers and you have a book whose entire premise seems to be “shut up and leave me alone”. That said, it also loves the community living in this area, and shows that they all love Sano as well. You don’t have to conform, you don’t have to get married and have kids and a normal job. You can, in fact, run away and live on a mountain. Provided, of course, you’re getting passive income from the apartment complex you’re renting out. I hope Sano is not a slumlord.

This is 11 volumes and counting, and I’m not exactly sure where it can really go except to explain why the animals on this mountain are bananas. Perhaps next time.

Betrothed to My Sister’s Ex, Vol. 2

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By Tobirano and Mai Murasaki. Released in Japan as “Zutaboro Reijou wa Ane no Moto Konyakusha ni Dekiai Sareru” by M Novels f. Released in North America by Airship. Translated by Rymane Tsouria. Adapted by Zubonjin.

(There’s a spoiler I talk about, but I’ll try to wait till after the summary. Also, the spoiler is obvious.)

I will reiterate that those who cannot accept that Marie’s entire life to date has revolved around being told how terrible she is will find this volume very hard going, because it will feel grating that she loathes herself to such a degree that it almost drowns the narrative. The third quarter of the book is awash in everyone just being very, very sad, and I get the feeling the author knew this and wanted to make sure it didn’t overflow. As such, eventually, when Marie ends up fleeing from her engagement and the castle, things proceed to turn into farce, starting with Mio driving around and around the castle while pretending to be driving her back home, waiting for her to change her mind, and then getting capped off by Kyros leaping onto the carriage to follow them around the castle. It’s so over the top it’s fun.

Marie is doing her best, even though she may not think that it is. As we learn more about her childhood, we discover that she can speak/write in multiple languages, that her dancing is excellent, and that the fact that her favorite children’s book was delivered to her may be the holding thing keeping her from a breakdown. Meanwhile, Mio investigates back at her parents’ manor, and discovers that things are far more disturbing than they or we imagined, especially in regards to the death of Marie’s sister. Even a lovely outing in the merchant district to look at rings and clothing can’t pass by without Mio hearing the voice of her sister calling her and having nightmares. Surely the best thing to do is to simply call everything off and go back to her abusive home.

Rest assured, dear reader, this does not happen. For one thing, Anastasia isn’t dead. I know this will come as a shock to no one. What came as a shock to me was that I was expecting her to have deliberately faked her death to go off the the capital to make things. As it turns out, no, she was almost raped by her coach driver, escaped by the skin of her teeth, and only by miraculous fortune did she wind up in the capital. Oh yes, and her hair is being used to pacify her half-insane mother. Suffice it to say, neither sister has had it easy, and they both love each other yet also deeply envy each other’s positions. Towards the end of the book, when both parents are taken into custody, Marie has to decide what to do with them, and we get a bit of backstory that explains but does not excuse their actions. Much as I liked the wackiness in the middle of the agony, the agony is very much there.

That said, there’s more to this series. Marie and Kyros aren’t married yet. The third prince is hitting on a former noble turned commoner who just wants to be left alone. And what of Mio, the best character in this series? We’ll find out next time.