Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear, Vol. 17

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By Kumanano and 029. Released in Japan by PASH! Books. Released in North America by Airship. Translated by Jan Cash & Vincent Castaneda. Adapted by Lorin Christie.

We all have things we’d like to read in our favorite series. Usually they’re things that aren’t going to happen until near the end, such as a romantic couple getting together. It could also be the climax of a series of subplots that is building far too slowly and meticulously. And I have these desires about Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear, only I suspect that I’m never going to get what I want. I want to meet Yuna’s parents. I want to flash back to her life in Japan before this one. I know that her parents are going to be absolutely the worst – they are, after all, the ones who, after Yuna offered them a ton of money to get out of her life, took the money and got out of her life. But they’ve still clearly affected Yuna deeply, and I think a lot of her current attitude towards almost everyone in Crimonia and other areas is due to this. It can’t all be “LOL, she’s a NEET”, after all. Parental neglect is important too.

Still in the dwarf village, Yuna decides to go watch the trials and (naturally) ends up taking the trial herself, as she accidentally arrived about 8-9 hours too early. Unfortunately for the dwarves, the trials basically are designed to match the level of the person taking them, which means Yuna’s is insanely difficult – and also mentally wearing, as she’s forced into combat situations that are poor matches for her, then forced to face herself (see the cover art), and finally forced to rescue Fina from a deathtrap, something which causes her to flip out a bit. After doing this and getting the pots and pans she came there for, she returns to Crimonia – with Lilyka, who’s basically being told to stop being tsundere and go get her man, something she finds easier said than done. The rest of the book is basically “Yuna does cute things”, at least till the end, when she’s on the floating island and sees a remote ship. Are we finally getting to fantasy Japan?

As always, the most interesting scenes in the book are the ones where Yuna is thrown off her game. Facing a version of herself is less interesting, though I was amused at her realization that it’s annoying to fight someone who does this. More interesting was the last battle. I suspected that it wasn’t the real Fina (somethng which is later confirmed), but Yuna doesn’t know that, and seeing her caught in the old “water slowly filling a tank” trap causes her to completely panic – which is, of course, the point of the trials, which remind the person taking them that remaining cool in battle is what you need to do, even if your loved ones are in danger. Yuna here basically admits she sees Fina as her younger sister, which is fine by me, as Fina’s still ten. I do wish Yuna would stop insisting she’s not gay every volume, but that’s a separate issue, and it’s not unique to this author.

If you enjoy picking through “cute bears doing overpowered things” series to find the nugget or two of depth, this sure is that.

RVing My Way into Exile with My Beloved Cat: This Villainess Is Trippin’, Vol. 1

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By Punichan and Canarinu. Released in Japan as “Akuyaku Reijō wa Camping Car de Tabi ni Deru: Aibyō to Mankitsu Suru Self Kokugai Tsuihō ” by DRE Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Heart. Translated by sachi salehi.

Sometimes you can tell that a story is not written by a first-time writer. One of the best ways is when a story has a totally ridiculous premise (such as this one), but knows that it cannot merely coast on just that premise for the entire book. There’s some good thought given to the world building. There’s ‘level ups’, but they’re minimal, and mostly just serve to show us where things are in the vehicle. There’s bad people, but they’re just selfish idiots, not puppy-kickers. Sure enough, this author has a few (unlicensed) series under their belt, and seems to specialize in Villainess titles. That said, the villainess part is not really the reason to read this – our heroine’s exile happens in record time. No, this is for fans of Slow Life books, because our heroine loves outdoor camping, and now that she is freed from this awful otome game, she is going to CAMP SO HARD.

Mizarie Kraphtia, who has the best Obvious Villainess name since Yumiella Dolkness, is publicly shamed and has her engagement broken by her fiance the Prince within the first two paragraphs. This comes as a complete relief to her – her entire life she’s been abused for having a “dark” magic element and black hair, and even getting her family to feed her has been tough. She avoided the heroine of the game she was isekai’d into, but ended up getting railroaded into the plot regardless. So now that she has the opportunity to flee, she does so, using the secret skill she’s been hiding from everyone since she first discovered it. She summons… a camper van, which allows her to drive the hell out of the country and away from the startled Prince (who was already preparing to reduce her exile to “do all my work for me”) and finally live a real life. It’s time to start fires, cook chicken, and discover new kingdoms that won’t abuse her.

This book revels in its genre, but also revels in pointing out the flaws inherent in it. Mizarie is hated and abused for her dark magic and hair… but is still engaged to the Prince, for some reason. But as I said, the book drives away from its villainess origins at 200 MPH, preferring to dig into the nitty gritty of what it would be like to explore a fantasy world with what amounts to an all-terrain vehicle that’s also a camper van. (The title says “RV” in English and “Camping Car” in Japanese, but I call the series “Camper Van Villainess” in honor of the classic alternative band Camper Van Beethoven, author of Take the Skinheads Bowling and other light classics.) Eventually we do get to more traditional isekai tropes, like the guy left for dead by his selfish party, the adventurer’s guild handing out F-ranked missions, and a monster that prove almost too much for our heroine… at least until she uses the camper van to hit it off a cliff.

This isn’t deep, nor should it be. It’s fun, and relaxing, and its heroine is also fun and relaxing. The second volume is due out in Japan this month, so I hope we’ll see it before too long.

The Exiled Noble Rises as the Holy King: Befriending Fluffy Beasts and a Holy Maiden with My Ultimate Cheat Skill!, Vol. 1

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By Yu Okano and TAPIOCA. Released in Japan as “Tsuihō Kizoku wa Saikyō Skill “Seiō” de Henkyō kara Nariagaru: Haikyōsha ni Nintei Sareta Ore da kedo Cheat Skill de Mofumofu mo Seijo mo Nakama ni Shichaimashita” by Earth Star Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Alex Honton.

Every once in a while I dip my toe back into the giant pool that is “light novels that don’t really sound interesting to me”, just in case I end up passing on a real winner. Sometimes I find myself completely, 100% wrong and it’s garbage. But far more often, it’s just frustrating, as the writer clearly has some ideas that might be good, or at least lead to interesting character development, but either they or the editor and publisher can never let go of “this has to be the same as every other title just like it”. I simply do not get why all these fantasy books star the same guy. He looks the same, he acts the same, he’s a “nice guy”, etc. It’s not like there aren’t great examples of light novels that succeed with far more interesting protagonists. Look at Kazuma. Or Subaru. You don’t need to have everyone be Player One.

The very first words of the book are our main character’s name, Noah Oliphage. The next words are him being exiled, just as the title says. Sounds pretty villainess-ey, yes. Noah has been found to have the Root Skill “Holy King”, and the Church – and the supposed actual Holy King – are frowning heavily on this. Noah, not wanting the church to wipe out his family, accepts exile with only a minor fuss… but ends up in the middle of the Purgatory Forest, filled with dangerous monsters. Fortunately, Noah… does NOT have awesome sword skills or powerful magic. Not good. He can form contracts with those who want his protection and who he wants to protect, though, and does so, first with a small kitten monster (that it is hinted will grow tiger sized), and then a small group of kobolds. Unfortunately, the Church wants to make sure Noah is dead, so send their biggest zealot to find and kill him.

Again, every good idea here is undercut by the need to make this book like so many other books of its kind. I was intrigued by the idea of someone getting a skill that’s basically “Jesus” but the start of the book drowns us, as usual, in stats, stats, stats. Japanese RPGs have so much to answer for. Noah is about as interesting as a sheet of white paper – actually, grey paper. The most interesting character is Aht, the aforementioned zealot. There’s a fantastic scene where we see everything about her previous few years be overwritten just by SEEING Noah and knowing he really is the messiah – it’s actually understated too, which I appreciated – but an interesting discussion about how mind-controlled she is by Noah’s contract (and, for that matter, how mind controlled she was by the Church before this) gets quietly brushed aside by her with a “I promise you it’s OK”, and she leaves at the end of the book – I suspect Book 2 will feature a different woman in the lead, this feels like that kind of series.

I may look at the 2nd volume, to see if it does anything with the concepts it’s got at the back of everything. But man, this is frontloaded with “potato-kun” fantasy stuff. He may not be isekai’d, but he might as well be. Recommended if you enjoy religious conversion or cute dogs and cats fighting monsters.