Reincarnated as an Apple: This Forbidden Fruit Is Forever Unblemished!, Vol. 1

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By Gato and Itsuki Mito. Released in Japan as “Ringo Tensei: Kindan no Kajitsu wa Kyō mo Korokoro to Musō Suru” by HJ Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by piyo.

For the most part, light novels are neither as good or as bad as people say. Most of the books tend to be the kind that entertain you as you’re reading them, but you will forget the very next day. They’re LIGHT novels, shallow entertainment. Occasionally you get a series that rises above the basic level of “keep them interested enough to finish the book” and really takes off. And yes, sometimes a lot of the shallow entertainment books have gotten anime as well. But what happens when you have a book that does not reach the basic quality needed? A book that cannot entertain even while reading it for the first time? A book that desperately makes you wonder why you aren’t moving on to the next in your stack? Well, you get things like Reincarnated as an Apple, which is dire.

A salaryman named (groan) Furutsu is hit by a truck filled with apples and dies. He reads light novels, so knows what happens next. Sure enough, he meets God and gets cool powers. Unlimited growth! Unlimited magic! Cannot be killed! Infinite storage! …oh yes, and he’s an apple. Hanging on a tree. He can’t speak, he’s an apple. He can roll around. After investigating his storage, he finds a young girl inside, who is apparently a staff made from a branch of the World Tree. She… um, can’t leave the storage box. But she and Furutsu can talk to each other! Furutsu ends up in the hands of Fresa, a physically strong, magically weak, and mentally inept wannabe adventurer, who’s just about to take the adventurer’s test, with the help of her guardian. Can she pass with the help of an apple?

Where do I begin? To start with, you’d expect this to be more like Reborn as a Vending Machine, but Furutsu is far more of a normal isekai guy. He can shoot fireballs, kill B-ranked demons, and levels up ridiculously. So basically, he’s a typical modern light novel protagonist… except that three-quarters of the time he and Grida (the staff) are merely watching Fresa’s antics and commenting on them like a Let’s Play video. Because he’s an apple, and she is a staff and also can’t interact with anyone but him. This is very tedious. Especially as even though Furutsu is in italics and Grida is in normal text, it’s still very hard to tell them apart, because all four main characters in this book sound the same, which is like they’re trying to compete in a tsukkomi competition. The series is, for the most part, a broad comedy, but occasionally tries to bring in drama, such as the implications about Fresa’s past, but… she’s such a vapid character that it annoys me more than anything else. And of course it’s a modern light novel, meaning it’s filled with stats and powerups, so you find your eyes glazing over as you hear things like “Spell confirmed. Activating at fifty percent strength”.

If you’re looking for a silly “reincarnated as a random thing” series, read the Vending Machine one. For those who *do* enjoy series about overpowered protagonists with cute girls and lots and lots of gamer chatter… there are *still* so many other better series than this.

Ascendance of a Bookworm: I’ll Do Anything to Become a Librarian!, Part 5: Avatar of a Goddess, Vol. 1

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By Miya Kazuki and You Shiina. Released in Japan as “Honzuki no Gekokujou: Shisho ni Naru Tame ni wa Shudan wo Erandeiraremasen” by TO Books. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by quof.

So much of Bookworm runs on the difference between Rozemyne and everyone else in the cast. Indeed, the books can sometimes be summed up as “Don’t do the thing!” (Rozemyne does the thing) “I had no choice, tell me how could I have avoided doing the thing?” (groans, heads slammed against table) This book is much the same, as every single thing Sylvester tells Rozemyne to avoid happens anyway. And to be fair, a good 80% of it is not her fault this time. It either stems from their burgeoning printing industry, or it’s a function of mistakes she made earlier now being compounded without her consent, or it’s simply her very nature as the most powerful person in the entire country (something a couple of people are finally starting to notice, but not too many). Heck, the main thing everyone was waiting for in this volume, The Purge, happens entirely offscreen and we don’t even see it in the side stories. It doesn’t involve Rozemyne.

It’s the start of Rozemyne’s third year at the Academy, and to celebrate the character notes now say she looks EIGHT years old rather than seven! There’s a lot to do. She needs to find a way to communicate with Ferdinand on an irregular basis, she has to set up joint research projects with several other duchies into various things, and there are, of course, her classes. One of which is now being taught by Eglantine, who has returned after graduation to teach and to observe Rozemyne, not in that order. There’s also a new archnoble librarian, Hortensia, who is also there to observe Rozemyne, and has had a life that makes you sad that she’s married to Mr. Evil Guy. That said, the most dangerous thing that happens to Rozemyne is not resolved in this book: after her huge blessing to Eglantine and Anastasius at their wedding, the other prince wants one for HIS wedding. And it had better be bigger than Anastasius’… or, for that matter, Ferdinand’s. If not, civil war could erupt.

The subtitle for this 5th arc is Avatar of a Goddess, and we’re starting to see some foreshadowing for why that is. (It’s apparently the final arc, but don’t worry, it’s the longest arc yet.) In her classes to get blessings from the gods, most people get one or two. Wilfried amazes people by getting twelve, something very rare. Rozemyne gets forty. Something she decides to keep a secret from everyone else. Once she learns the names of the Gods of Light and Darkness, she powers up so much that mana is now leaking out of her whenever she prays, dances, or anything, really. See the color pages, which show everyone staring in awe as her whirling ends up, as she says, “turning me into a human glowstick”. There are already people who are realizing that it’s actually Rozemyne, not Ferdinand, responsible for Ehrenfest’s fortunes raising. I suspect soon she’s going to be the prize everyone wants. And probably because they will say she is… well, look at the title.

As always, there’s so much I haven’t talked about, such as the various boys who have fallen for Rozemyne (she has no idea), or the way the Veronica faction kids are handled, or the Evil Teacher’s schemes being thwarted by Ferdinand and Rozemyne simply being SUPER EXTRA. These books are each the size of two normal light novels, meaning this is technically Vol. 44 or so. That said, I’m not complaining.

Secrets of the Silent Witch, Vol. 2

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By Matsuri Isora and Nanna Fujimi. Released in Japan as “Silent Witch” by Kadokawa Books. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Alice Prowse.

Technically this book has a real plot. We even see it here! There’s an assassination attempt against the second Prince. It is, in fact, the climax of the book. And Monica stops it, which is why she’s at the school. That said… I highly doubt anyone reading this series is on tenterhooks to find out who’s behind all this. We’re here for the adventures of Monica at school, being bullied and feeling panicked but nevertheless persevering. If I’m going to be honest, the highlight of the story was not that big climactic scene near the end, with math magic and Monica exhausting all her magic. It was in the middle of the book, where a bullying attempt on Monica goes horribly wrong and consequences are slowly but surely dripped out against the perpetrators. I’d argue this was more of a tense atmosphere because Monica has minimal to no regard for herself, and if the book were about someone trying to assassinate HER, this series would be much shorter and probably more depressing.

Despite all her best efforts, Monica is managing to gain friends and slowly adapt socially to the academy. Even if she’s sometimes not good at spotting tsundere friends. We also get a couple of new cast members in Glenn, a loud and somewhat obnoxious mage who was probably added to the cast because it lacked someone of that type; Casey, a tomboyish young lady fro0m the sticks who quickly takes a shine to Monica; and Claudia, who has clearly been watching the Netflix series Wednesday and taking it a bit too much to heart. Someone IS definitely trying to kill the second prince, that’s for sure, but most of this book is about Monica’s school life, as she learns the joys of chess, the horrors of ballroom dancing, and just who she can trust.

Isabelle is on the cover of the second book, and has a major role in the middle, which pleases me, as I thought she was merely going to be a one-shot gag. She *is* a gag, yes, but the gag is that she’s not an actual petty teenage bitch, but a “villainess”, which means that she has the nobility and knowledge of who to protect that regular petty teens do not. When she goes up against the girl who poisoned Monica (even if it wasn’t MEANT to be attempted murder, it still was), it’s quite a sight to see. I also liked seeing her bond with Felix over the Silent Witch. That said, I am a bit worried about Felix, who proves to be a bit of an obsessive fanboy about Monica’s alter ego. I fear that when the secret gets out their relationship is going to change, and not in a way that Monica will like.

This is not that long a series – I believe there are only four volumes, plus an “After” volume, so my worries may be answered in the next book. That said, I love reading Silent Witch because it’s FUN, and Monica is a fantastic lead character. Get this one.