She Professed Herself Pupil of the Wise Man, Vol. 1

By Ryusen Hirotsugu and fuzichoco. Released in Japan as “Kenja no Deshi o Nanoru Kenja” by GC Novels. Released in North America by Seven Seas. Translated by Wesley O’Donnell. Adapted by Adam Lee.

Sometimes I take a flyer on a book that has a premise that sounds meh and am happily surprised… but not always. Sometimes it just presses all the wrong buttons. Sometimes it goes ways I’d rather it didn’t. Sometimes it’s just Not For Me. This is different from a book being actively bad, where I have no idea who it’s being written for. She Professed Herself Pupil of the Wise Man (which, spoilers, I did not care for) has a very defined audience. It’s for gamers who enjoy fantasizing about their game becoming real. This is old hat by now in light novel land, but the webnovel for this series came out almost 10 years ago, so it may be suffering from “I came after all my imitators”. It loves discussing mechanics of the game and how they’ve changed. It enjoys having fun with gender confusion, which can be quite interesting, but is written here from a very “guy” perspective. The battle was OK. It’s just… not my thing.

To be honest, I should have known where this was going when our protagonist takes the name “Danblf Gandador” as his wizard character. I think we’re supposed to mock this, but… In any case, one day he spends an evening designing an alternate character skin of a young, cute girl, then passes out. When he wakes up, he finds that he’s now in a world that resembles his game… but in the body of the cute girl. Fortunately she still has all of Danblf’s skills and powers, but she’s going to have to do some careful lying in order not to get found out… especially since 30 years have passed since she was online last! Now calling herself Mira, she spends the rest of the book trying to find other gamers who may also have been trapped here (there’s quite a few, though we only meet two here), taking out the odd lesser demon with her overpowered summons, and dealing with how to use the bathroom or get dressed now that she’s a cute young girl.

For propriety’s sake I’ve tried to avoid mentioning it in reviews before this one, but dangit, Japan has far too much of an obsession with young women wetting or about to wet themselves. There’s a reasonable explanation in this book – Mira is getting used to being a girl AND being a non-game character, so isn’t really thinking about toilets till it’s almost too late – but it still reads like a fetish and I hate it. Other than that, if you read the plot description and thought “this sounds an awful lot like In the Land of Leadale, you’re right, it does. This definitely came first, but sorry, I read Leadale before it, and it comes off second best in most areas. One thing I did like was the camaraderie between the gamer characters once they’ve reunited – they really do seem like good gamer buddies, and it reads naturally. The big battle was also pretty good, with a nice scary cockatrice. I just… wasn’t enthused about much of the rest, especially the cast’s tendency to want to either dress or undress Mira as if she were a mannequin.

If you’re a gamer who enjoys this type of genre, there’s a lot to like here, and I think you’d enjoy future volumes of the series. I’m not that, so I’ll be stopping here.

The NPCs in This Village Sim Game Must Be Real!, Vol. 1

By Hirukuma and Namako. Released in Japan as “Murazukuri Game no NPC ga Namami no Ningen to Shika Omoe Nai” by Enterbrain. Released in North America by Seven Seas. Translated by Alexandra Owen-Burns.

One of the more interesting surprises of 2018 was a light novel series that, on the face of it, looked like the stupidest premise in the entire world. It was called Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, and its plot was exactly as you’d expect. And yet it not only proved far, far more entertaining than anyone could imagine, but also very good at keeping this a realistic and well-thought out world starring a guy who is a literal, non-moving, vending machine. The reason I bring this all up is that I was not planning on giving The NPCs in This Village Sim Game Must Be Real! the time of day till I saw that it was by the same author as the vending machine story. Can lightning strike twice, I thought? Well, good news there. It wasn’t just a fluke, this is a very good author. This book, about a 30-year-old NEET bum watching a group of five ex-villagers trying to survive, is excellent.

Our protagonist is Yoshio, a man who’s spent the past ten years living at home with his family holed up in his bedroom. He won’t leave the house, he won’t get a job, his parents and sister are seemingly disgusted with him. Then one day he gets a game in the mail, asking him to watch over a sim group of villagers fleeing from monsters trying to survive in the wild. There’s Gams, the soldier defending them all; his sister Chem, a healer; and a normal not-very powerful family: Rodice, Lyra and their 7-year-old daughter Carol. As Yoshio plays the game, he begins to notice that these NPCs are far too natural and well-written to actually be computer generated. What’s the game part? Well, he’s God, and once a day he can write them a prophecy, as well as perform a miracle if he amasses enough Faith Points… which mostly come from spending real-life money. Well, typical game.

As you can see, the plot description makes a reader go “meh”, but as always the execution is where it matters. We spend just as much time concentrating on Yoshio’s home life as we do on the NPC villagers, and it turns out there are multifaceted layers as to exactly WHY he gave up on life and is being a NEET in his room. His family, too, are all dealing with their own issues. The game, therefore, serves as a way to get Yoshio to start caring about life and other people again, and it works quite admirably. By the end of this first volume, he’s opened up to his parents, re-bonded with his sister, and gotten a regular job (if only to pay for the game). The villagers are not quite as interesting as the Yoshio side (the one bit of humor in the book, which features Chem being a brocon and competing with a 7-year-old girl for her brother’s attention, I could have done without) but they also have their nuances, and I appreciates that they really do need Yoshio’s help to survive, but not because they’re innately weak or anything – this world is dangerous.

There are several hints that this may not quite be a “game” at all, mostly due to the offerings the villagers send him by sacrifice every day being then mailed to Yoshio from an address in Hokkaido. I expect the end two books in the series will go deeper into that. (Like Vending Machine, this seems to stop at Book 3.) Still, once again this writer takes a seemingly flat premise and expands on it beautifully. I will absolutely be reading more.

Slayers: The Mystic Sword of Bezeld

By Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. Released in Japan by Fujimi Fantasia Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Elizabeth Ellis.

At long last, we are reading Slayers novels that are new to North America… though honestly, sales for the Tokyopop version of later novels in the series were pretty tiny, so I suspect it was new stuff for a lot of readers. This arc also was not adapted into an anime, as they did their own anime-original arc with Slayers Try, a decision not loved by the author, who hated the relationship between Xeloss and golden dragon Filia in particular. Instead, here we see Lina and Gourry, now a twosome again, trying to find a replacement for the late Sword of Light. Sadly, swords like that cannot be found just lying around, and so they’re reduced to chasing after rumors. This leads them to the titular sword, and also to a young girl being menaced by two mercs, two assassins, and seemingly the narrative. Will the sword turn out to be real? Will the sword turn out to be a trap? Will Sean once again spin out 500 words on super short novels that are fun to read but hard to review?

As noted, Lina and Gourry are by themselves at the start of this arc. That said, somehow Amelia and Zelgadis manage to get the biggest laugh in the book, as Gourry’s seeming inability to remember them leads to the illustrator drawing a spectral version of the duo stomping on his head. Instead we’re introduced to two mercenaries who, while they part ways with our heroes at the end of this book, one suspects we’ll be seeing them again soon, if only as they take up far more space on the cover than the supposed victim being attacked. Luke is, to put it bluntly, an asshole, but his heart seems to be in the right place, and honestly, snarking at Lina, the Queen of snark, is something that she could probably use. Mileena is a mage who seems somewhat stoic and mostly is there to be the sensible one and to shoot down Luke’s romantic overtures, though there’s implication that it’s not a complete lost cause.

As for the plot itself, boy, the average life expectancy of anyone in Slayers who is not a main character must be insanely low, and even if you live, you usually end up being homeless, villageless, or cityless. There’s a lot of wholesale destruction here, with villages set on fire, innocent assassins (erm, well, semi-innocent) getting possessed by mystic swords, and a monstrous demon with insane regenerative ability and also the ability to kill folks and keep them in a sort of perpetual zombie state. Good thing Lina has Dragon Slave… which is not good enough this time. And there’s also Gaav Flare, which… no longer works without Gaav, who was killed off in the last volume. Whoops. That said, the way that they do get rid of the big bad at the end is the second funniest part of the book, and also oh so very Lina Inverse.

So yeah, the usual Slayers novel. Good fights, good laughs, lotsa death, super short. Can’t wait for the next one.