I’ll Never Set Foot in That House Again!, Vol. 1

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By Milli-gram and Yuki Kana. Released in Japan as “Nidoto ie ni wa Kaerimasen!” by Overlap Novels f. Released in North America digitally by J-Novel Club. Translated by Emily Hemphill.

I’m going to be honest, this book is all over the place. Featuring a relatively nuanced portrayal of a heroine who’s recovering from horrible abuse, it has especially un-nuanced portrayals of the abusers. There’s a terrific surprise involving the hero, but it’s also contrasted with the fact that (per the afterword) the author aged him up after seeing the artwork but didn’t bother to age up the heroine, making for a very uncomfortable romance. And of course the heroine’s powers are especially overpowered even for this sort of book, with the question of “what can she create?” becoming a bar that gets raised higher and higher till the answer is “pretty much anything”. That said, I get the feeling none of this matters. This book gives you a girl you desperately want to hug, and then spends 160 pages hugging her. It’s the very definition of “D’aww”, and if that means putting up with some flaws, it’s OK because look, she’s eating sweets!

Chelsea is the daughter of a baron, but you’d never know it from her everyday life. She’s forced to do the housework, belittled and verbally abused by her mother and twin sister, and whipped when she does things wrong. She has to live off of scraps left after everyone else eats! What’s more, it’s totally unclear why this is the case. Then one day an “appraiser” shows up to see what the other daughter’s magic talents are, and they also know of Chelsea and appraise her. Turns out that Chelsea has a new skill, “Seed Creation”, that has never been seen before! Now she’s whisked off to the royal residence to see what her new skill can do (spoiler: a lot) and to be pampered and cared for as she never was before. As Chelsea slowly gets better and grows in self-confidence, and despite her fears that once they’ve appraised her, she’ll be sent back, she gradually realizes (say it with me) she’ll never set foot in that house again.

I noted on Twitter that this book had the subtlety of an icepick to the forehead, and I stand by that. That said, its portrayal of Chelsea is definitely the highlight. She’s beaten and shattered by the abuse she’s suffered, and it takes the entire book for her to even begin to stand up for herself and make her own decisions. This is, admittedly, helped by this being a world of magic, but even then, while they can heal her scars and stop her “emaciated” status effect, she still can’t really eat much at first. The hero, Glen, is more typical of these sorts of books, and has two big secrets, one of which is not really that much of a surprise, but the other one is, and it’s handled quite well, which is to say it’s barely mentioned. Sadly, as I noted before, making him older means the romantic feelings he starts to have for 12-year-old Chelsea come off as far skeevier than I would like – fortunately nothing is going on as of yet.

This also shares another fault with many shoujo light novels we’ve seen recently: it feels like it’s a one-shot, but there’s a second volume out. I’m not sure where the book is going to go, especially with a title that will likely seem out of place given, well, problem solved. That said, if it has hugs, cute dresses, and yummy sweets, I’ll probably be reading more.

Invaders of the Rokujouma!?, Vol. 33

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By Takehaya and Poco. Released in Japan as “Rokujouma no Shinryakusha!?” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America digitally by J-Novel Club. Translated by Warnis.

The most annoying thing about this volume, of course, is what ISN’T here. We had been expecting that each girl would get their own “what if?” arc detailing their lives if Koutarou fell for them, with Harumi being the first. Now here we are with the next one, Clan… only we find that Maki already had hers, as an exclusive 75-minute CD bonus track. I gotta hope this is part of the Kickstarter in some way, because if that’s how it’s going down in the future, I suspect half of English-speaking fans are going to be left without satisfaction. Maki’s looks cute, seems to involve rescuing some stray cats (who continue to hang around her), and… well, sorry. As for the book itself, it’s fine. As with previous “short story” volumes, it contains three stories written previously for the “Hercules” website, and Clan’s “what if”, which is empty of surprises but is as sweet and cute as you’d expect. And you learn far more about vacuum tubes than you ever thought you would.

The first short story has Koutarou getting a cold while skiing (blame Yurika, who ends up going down the hill like a cartoon, as a rolling snowball) and getting nursed back to health by Elfaria and Kiriha. They both want to get closer to Koutarou, but are also nice and mature, so they end up having a “gambling match”, loser has to take care of him, and then both trying to throw the match, sort of. It shows off how Elfaria may not be quite as far out of the harem as she thinks, despite not being one of the “core girls”. Next we see just how Yurika got to be a magical girl, and her early days with Nana. If nothing else, this tells us that Yurika was indeed born on Earth and not in Magical Girl World. Other than that it’s slight, emphasizing how she’s still basically Usagi Tsukino in a Yurika skin. The third short has Kiriha and Maki, on separate outings with their friends, meeting at an amusement park and talking. It’s sweet, but again, two of the sensible characters having a conversation makes things a bit dull.

As with Harumi’s “what if”, Clan’s stems from one slight issue going worse than canon; while in the past searching for the Blue Knight, she gets a bad cold, and has to be taken care of by Koutarou. This allows the two of them to be far closer and less guarded than they are in canon, and that extends to when they return to the present day. Clan is not Harumi, so as you’d expect there’s a lot more tsundere action going on in this story, but the beats are the same – Koutarou’s defenses are brought down, he ends up hanging out with Clan more than the others, and they gradually fall in love, though being who they are said love is mostly exchanged via unspoken handholding and hugs. There’s also a nice examinatio9n of Clan’s tendency to think of herself as a “villain”, and the regrets she has from her past. She’s always going to be snarky, but Clan has soft4ened up a lot.

So overall, not an essential volume unless Clan is your best girl, but it’s readable. Next time we should get back to the main storyline… in fact, I think we get two books of main storyline in a row, so no what-ifs for a bit.

A Wild Last Boss Appeared!, Vol. 2

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By Firehead and YahaKo. Released in Japan by Earth Star Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Kevin Chen.

I am a big fan of the old classic cartoons of Tex Avery, be they the early Warner Bros. years or the classic MGM masterpieces. One gag he first used with Porky Pig, in The Blow Out (1936), and then again with Droopy at MGM with Dumb Hounded (1943) and Northwest Hounded Police (1947) was that of “the pursuer is always there”. Our bad guy tries to flee the seemingly slow and ineffectual hero, but everywhere he goes, no matter what he does, there’s the hero, right there, waiting for him. It works as comedy because the hero is Porky or Droopy, and the villains are bad guys who deserve what they get. That said, if you flip it so that instead of a hero you have what is essentially a monster straight out of a horror movie… well, you get something altogether more terrifying. Despite said monster being a robot maid. Easily the best scene in the book, I sense the author was familiar with those old Tex Avery cartoons.

As for the book itself, the first chunk involves Lufas going to retrieve said killer robot maid, who is currently at the top of a huge tomb that is supposed to be Lufas’s final resting place. Needless to say, her group has very little trouble with said tomb, despite everyone else in the world getting killed off due to the many killer traps and golems within. Once that’s done, she and her crew go off to meet another one of the Heroes, who is currently king of a land that is literally divided into black and white sides. Lufas wants to just quietly investigate and maybe talk with the King. Unfortunately, almost everyone else around her, including most of her party, have other ideas. Can she stop a war between the light-winged and colored-winged residents? Can she get the king to stop hating himself? And what’s up with Dina, anyway?

Other than Libra’s Droopy impression, the highlight of the book is Dina and her attempts to be a double reverse quadruple agent, backstabbing absolutely everyone. We saw hints of this at the end of the last book, but it’s in full flower now, and the explanation as to who she really is works quite well. (Actually, the series handles the idea of “is this trapped in a game or not?” in a very interesting way, with differences between types of canon becoming extremely important to the world in general.) As for Lufas, it manages to be more intriguing than annoying that her mind constantly slides away from Dina when she tries to think about her, and it’s not particularly surprising that, when it comes to a real battle, Lufas wipes the floor with her. I’m pleased Dina is not killed off – and I’m assuming she’ll continue to be a lovable traitor in future books.

So yes, overall a definite improvement on the first book, and I’m enjoying its somewhat laid-back pace, despite the need to defeat the enemy somewhere down the line. Recommended for those who like cool overpowered beauties, backstabbing, and Droopy cartoons.