An Introvert’s Hookup Hiccups: This Gyaru Is Head Over Heels for Me!, Vol. 10

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By Yuishi and Kagachisaku. Released in Japan as “Inkya no Boku ni Batsu Game de Kokuhaku Shitekita Hazu no Gal ga, Dō Mitemo Boku ni Beta Bore Des” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Satoko Kakihara.

With apologies to Dorothy Parker. At one point in this volume, Yoshin and Nanami are scuba diving in Hawaii, and as they are about to surface, a school of dolphins goes by next to them. And they see two dolphins who seem to be together, and who Nanami watches closely, and as she waves at the dolphins… they seem to be crying. And it is that point, my darlings, that makes the first place in the tenth volume of An Introvert’s Hookup Hiccups at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up. I realize that the entire PURPOSE of this series is to deliver overly cute, couple-y scenes that make the reader go “awwwwwww” and make everyone around this googly-eyed couple sick. But I fear that we have perhaps reached a bit too far when the scene near the end where they exchange promise rings and pretend to get married is, somehow less sugary sweet than this scene.

At last, we are on the long-rumored class trip volume, and it is in Hawaii, on the main island. Yoshin and Nanami have been told by their parents to use this trip to get even closer to each other, and have been told by their teachers that they’d better watch themselves because, as everyone seems to know (including them), the moment that these two give in and kiss with tongue they won’t be able to stop and she will get pregnant. Fortunately, there are other really adorable couple things to do, like a nighttime sneak to the hotel pool, the aforementioned scuba diving, a trip to the beach to show off new swimsuits, and a shopping trip to purchase rings that leads to the oldest church in Hawaii (yes, the author very clearly wrote this based on their own trip), where they exchange vows, to the amusement of the elderly priest who catches them in the act. But do they get any closer? Do they finally do it?

Of course not. This is not the final volume, after all. But they do have a bath together, and she does accidentally see him naked in the shower. And they sleep in the same bed two days in a row. That will have to do for these dorks. There’s also a lot more of the other token male classmate in this series, Hatsumi, who is a mild, friendlier version of the “horndog friend of the protagonist” we get in romcoms like this. We also get the beta couple of this series, Teshikaga and Shirishizu, wop become a couple on this trip, and (it is implied) have already gone further than our main couple. Let’s be honest, Yoshin and Nanami are both essentially perfect in every way, so we have to accept the fact that she can’t even let Yoshin touch her boobs without having an aneurysm and calling the whole thing off. C’est la vie.

Next up seems to be Christmas, with the obligatory sexy Santa cover outfit. Till then, recommended for everyone who likes sweeter than pie romcoms.

Welcome to Olivia’s Magic Jewelers, Vol. 1

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By Rinrin Yuki and Suzaku. Released in Japan as “Olivia Maseki Houshokuten e Youkoso: Ka to Mise wo Oida Sareta no de, Outou ni Mise wo Kamaetara, Naze ka Moto Konyakusha to Gimai no Kekkonshiki ni Dero to Iwaremashita” by Mag Garden Novels. Released in North America by Cross Infinite World. Translated by Jordan Taylor.

The trouble with having so many light novels is that you cannot possibly read everything. This goes double for light novels written for women, because it used to be we never had those. The villainess craze may be annoying people as much as the isekai craze these days, but it has brought to English translation a solid number of series for young women. But you can’t read everything. And thus you have series like this one, which is a good book. Likable protagonist, the traditional evil stepparents and stepsisters are, for the moment, given short shrift, and the romantic lead is attractive and clearly likes Olivia, though I wish he’d tell her who he really is. The main trouble is – why should you read this when you can just read Dahlia in Bloom instead?

When we first meet Olivia’s she’s having a very bad year. Her parents died, and her father’s brother, who took her in, seems to be evil. her fiance started to be less interested in her and more interested in her stepsister. And now she’s being accused of stealing her stepsister’s designs, and thrown out of the house. She then remembers a letter her late father gave her, which turns out to say that if she’s ever in trouble, go to the capital and look up his old friend Gordon. So, after a brief cranky run-in with a nice young man who called her the wrong thing, she ends up at the capital… where the same nice young man directs her lost self to Gordon, who turns out to run a magic artifact shop. Which is good, as it turns out that’s what Olivia is brilliant at.

This is what I call a 4/4 book. Not meaning four points out of four, but rather that it’s in 4/4 time and every plot beat hits on the beat, with no variation. It’s a pure Cinderella story, with Olivia meeting a handsome young man who becomes her friend (and is clearly far more powerful than she knows), exchanging her evil stepmother and stepsister for a parental boss, impressed co-workers, and an older sister type who makes sure that she doesn’t overdo it… well, no, nothing can stop Olivia from overdoing it. Even in books where they’re NOT reincarnated after working to death in Japan (which this one is – no Japan whatsoever), our heroine is trying to impress dead parents, her mentor, and the entire world, which still apparently thinks she’s a thief. (It turns out no one who knows Olivia at all believes this, but that doesn’t really matter when it’s a rumor.) Basically, even if she’s perfect she can never quite match the perfection in her head, so she tends to run on insecurity, despite literally winning a legendary award that will revolutionize the industry by page 140 or so.

This has at least one more volume,l which promises (ugh) more of her evil stepparents and stepsister. It’s good. I liked it. But you don’t have to read it unless you read literally everything.

Welcome to Monstrous Miss Sophie’s Enchanted Salon of Healing, Vol. 1

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By Sachi Konzome and Harenochihareta. Released in Japan as “Bakemono Jou Sophie no Salon: Gokigenyou. Kawa Ichimai nara Naosemasu wa” by Mag Garden Novels. Released in North America by Cross Infinite World. Translated by Dawson Chen.

There have been any number of series about healers in the light novel world, and there is a powerful one in this book as a supporting character. But the reason this book works so well is that Sophie’s healing, the thing that causes her to set up her business, is relatively weak. She can only heal skin deep problems. But skin deep problems are an issue for so many people, and one that is not easily solved, especially in this “magic fantasy” style world. Scars can prevent marriages, can harm familiar relations, can affect someone’s job. And Sophie is someone who can deeply understand that – not just because of her own skin condition, but (yes, surprise, surprise) of her past from Japan, where her daughter suffered from a similar condition. The dignity of everyday life, the little joys of fashion and being attractive, or even just the desire to get the hell away from an abusive stepfamily – all those can be affected by scars.

Mariko is a young woman who had a very rough life. She married young and had a child young, and then her husband died. Her daughter had a skin condition, and was bullied throughout her school life. And then, when her daughter has finally found a career and gotten married, Mariko suffers a fatal stroke. She wakes up as Sophie Olzon, a 17-year-old young woman who has apparently just “fallen” out of her bedroom window, fortunately escaping death. Sophie has a skin condition (which the novel’s illustrations really try to avoid showing more than once, preferring to have her veiled face just look slightly dark) where the skin all over her body is covered in boils, sores and pus. Also, her magic is weak. She had fallen in love and gotten engaged… only to find that her fiance loved someone else and was being bought off by her well-meaning father. So she threw herself out her window. However, now she has 57-year-ol Mariko’s memories as well, and so knows exactly how to cope with this – helping others.

This book amounts to a short story collection with wraparounds involving Sophie’s life. Each chapter we meet a new person, and Sophie has to hear their tragic backstory, because the more she can visualize what happened and identify with the person, the better the healing goes. We see princesses with a curse, noble ladies whose houses have been usurped by a new stepmother/sister, actresses whose arrogance got them knifed, and exotic dancers who have to deal with a baby and still try to arouse men. We even see one of Sophie’s former classmates, who was briefly sympathetic but gave in to peer pressure. That said, Sophie is the best reason to read this. Mariko’s memories do not magically make Sophie better – she spends all of this book still dealing with the crushing despair of having to spend her life like this, and at one point heals someone so much she almost dies from mana loss. Oh yes, and the guy who’s clearly meant to be her love interest does not really understand emotions. At all.

Basically, this series is an emotional roller-coaster and I was quite moved a lot of the time. Also, it ends with the second volume, so I assume things will eventually look up. Till then, please enjoy our heroine healing others because she cannot heal herself. (Also, bonus points for using a fantasy version of The Pickwick Papers to try to get her hard-headed healer friend to understand the foibles of human life.)