By Yuno Yozakura and Nimoshi. Released in Japan as “Seichouritsu 100 Bai Cheat no Tensei Youjo ~Heion ni Kurashitai no ni, Mawari ga Sou Sasete Kuremasen~” by Dre Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Kim Louise Davis.

I’ve mentioned before that a lot of light novels these days feel like eating stew. The author puts together various ingredients they have around the house, cooks it all up, and if you’re lucky it ends up being far tastier than you were expecting. Unfortunately, sometimes you aren’t so lucky. Sometimes you get what Japan calls “dark nabe”, where people throw deliberately bad ingredients in and the person eating it just ends up unhappy. This should have been a delicious stew. It’s a comedy – in fact, it verges on parody. It’s got a really strong girl who’s also kinda dumb. I normally eat these sort of titles up. Unfortunately, the book cannot quite get past… well, OK, there’s many things wrong with this book, but the biggest is that its heroine, Satie, is thoroughly unlikable. She’s not an airheaded ditz meathead who’s fun to read about, she’s just annoying.

Please count the cliched light novel tropes with me. Our heroine, Saki, is an overworked office lady (1) whose parents abandoned her (2) and who is far too small for her age (3). One day, she saves what she thinks is a cat from being run over by a car, only to die herself (4). She then meets a goddess (5), who explains that what she actually rescued was a plastic bag (6 – OK, so that’s only KonoSuba, but still). She’s offered reincarnation in Japan, or reincarnation in a world filled with fantasy tropes (7). Normally, for once, they don’t give out free stat buffs, but her death was so hilarious – erm, touching – that Hades offers her one cheat skill (8). She decides, having never had a boyfriend due to her small stature, to ask for a smoking hot body. But she words it ambiguously (9), and she ends up smaller than ever – in fact, she’s a perpetual seven-year-old (10) – but her strength is such that she can take down entire armies! (11).

Satie is a pain. Her buffed stats don’t kick in till she takes out a monster, so she doesn’t even realize what’s happened till she’s 13 years old and she kills a slime (12… OK, I’ll stop) that’s terrorizing a cute little puppy that turns out to be Cerberus, a hellhound. Instead, she’s spent most of her time sulking in her room. Her sister loves her, but also sort of regards her as useless, and her parents have given up on her. This is most as she’s given up on herself – she admits she’s not smart and hates to study, so this is not a “sure, my sibling got all the looks and talent but there’s still something I can do” sort of series. Once she gets her powers, she does do things like take on giant monsters, save her sister from a creep trying to use her as a hostage, and prevent a war between two kingdoms by taking one over in half a day. The whole thing is meant to be funny, but it barely raises a chuckle, mostly as Satie is just a whiny girl who doesn’t understand how life works. To be fair, she does manage to avoid breaking up the love between the prince and his childhood friend. Eventually.

This is a Drecom title, and so no doubt there will be one or two more, but they’re not out yet, and I feel comfortable abandoning Satie here. For folks who enjoyed I Shall Survive Using Potions! but figured a 12-year-old body was way too old.