By Yuishi and Kagachisaku. Released in Japan as “Inkya no Boku ni Batsu Game de Kokuhaku Shitekita Hazu no Gal ga, Dō Mitemo Boku ni Beta Bore Des” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Satoko Kakihara.

Given that the bulk of this series is our two main leads flirting hard with each other, deliberately or no, it makes sense that this is also what’s going on with the author. Oh, sure, the start of the series was different. We had the push and pull of “when will they discover they both know and admit their feelings”. But ever since they got together as a real couple, the books have been the author as Lucy, holding a football, saying, “I bet this is the one where they finally give in” and the reader as Charlie Brown running up to kick it, even as we know intellectually that no sex is going to happen until the final volume of the series, and probably not even then. This doesn’t run on porn, it runs on horniness, and the true tease knows that you need to keep the audience on edge as long as possible to make the release all the sweeter. If it happens at all.

Christmas has passed, which means both Yoshin and Nanami are going off to visit their respective grandparents, and will be apart for about a week. Though come on, this is the modern era, they just video chat every night. We meet Yoshin’s grandparents, who are astonished how much he’s changed, as well as his tall, cute older cousin, who you’d expect would be a subplot involving a jealous Nanami till you remember what series you’re reading. (Nanami does get jealous later, no worries.) After that it’s time for a shrine visit, where they run into Nanami’s two besties and their problematic significant other, as well as the problematic class president. Finally, the two of them convince their parents to let them go on a hot springs date in Hokkaido for two days and one nights – with one condition. You can guess what that condition is.

The reason, of course, that this remains so horny and yet so wholesome is that Nanami is absolutely the one pushing harder to go further, while Yoshin is steeling himself to not even do anything beyond kissing and hugging till they’re married. This gives her all the power, which is why it’s relaxing. We see that at the shrine, as he wishes that the gods help him nail down his libido so he doesn’t do anything he’ll regret, while Nanami’s, I suspect, were probably the opposite. At the hot spring hotel, they get closer than they’ve ever been – thanks partly to an in-room open air hot spring, and in part thanks to some horny college girls hitting on Yoshin without realizing he’s under 18 and also taken. They’ve now seen each other naked – by accident, and the interstitial art has to give Nanami the largest hand towel known to man to make it OK – but that’s as far as it gets. This series knows it’s in it as long as the publisher demands.

Next time, Valentine’s Day! Which will be a bit, as it only came out in Japan a month ago. Till then, enjoy these sweet kids not banging.

By Yuishi and Kagachisaku. Released in Japan as “Inkya no Boku ni Batsu Game de Kokuhaku Shitekita Hazu no Gal ga, Dō Mitemo Boku ni Beta Bore Des” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Satoko Kakihara.

Welcome back to everyone’s favorite romcom with one running gag. It’s still great. They’re both still really sweet. But the entire series has one joke, used throughout, which makes it hard to review. The joke is the fact that everyone in the world thinks these two have gone further than they have. This is not helped by Yoshin and Nanami themselves, who feed each other oranges in the cafeteria with no care (well, Yoshin cares, but he simply ignores the rest of the school because he’s in love with his girl). But the class can’t get over the fact that the two cannot stop flirting with each other, little girls on the street are ready to see them becoming parents soon, and their own parents are torn between wanting them to get sexually active (as it’s what they did in high school) and wanting to prevent it at any cost (because once they get a first taste, these two will never be able to stop screwing until Nanami is pregnant).

The class is back from Hawaii, and it becomes very clear that Japan is in a different season. December is around the corner, and Yoshin gets a cold, and has to have a strangely enthusiastic Nanami take care of him. Next is Yoshin’s birthday, which he has to admit he’s never really cared about much before. But now he has friends, a girlfriend, and something besides video games, so it’s time for birthday-related events, Nanami-style. And of course there’s Christmas, which is a couple’s holiday in Japan. Sure, they’re going to do a class party, with Secret Santa and prizes. But the main reason to get excited is sexy Santa outfits. Well, that and the fact that their parents are letting her stay the night at his place… alone. Will this be the volume that they finally sleep together?

I mean, technically yes, in this volume they both mutually agree to sleep next to each other. But no overt touching, because, as I said above, once they pop they can’t stop. But yeah, come on, you know there’s no sex, and that’s the only real plot – will they sex? No. Instead, let’s talk about the title, as I saw someone recently say that the title is telling a lie as Nanami is not remotely a gyaru in the way that most otaku see them. I’d have to agree that in terms of her general attitude she’s more of a yamato nadeshiko with a teasing side. and a touch of the dojikko as well. The gyaru part mostly comes from her fashion sense, and her careful cultivation of outfits, both for herself and for her boyfriend, throughout the series. “This male fantasy is head over heels for me” does not sell nearly as many books, though.

We’re caught up with Japan, as the 12th book just came out last month. It promises a hot springs trip for two! Will it be 200 pages of porn? (I’d settle for half a page of porn.) Recommended for those who love cinnamon rolls who are too good for this world, too pure.

By Yuishi and Kagachisaku. Released in Japan as “Inkya no Boku ni Batsu Game de Kokuhaku Shitekita Hazu no Gal ga, Dō Mitemo Boku ni Beta Bore Des” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Satoko Kakihara.

With apologies to Dorothy Parker. At one point in this volume, Yoshin and Nanami are scuba diving in Hawaii, and as they are about to surface, a school of dolphins goes by next to them. And they see two dolphins who seem to be together, and who Nanami watches closely, and as she waves at the dolphins… they seem to be crying. And it is that point, my darlings, that makes the first place in the tenth volume of An Introvert’s Hookup Hiccups at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up. I realize that the entire PURPOSE of this series is to deliver overly cute, couple-y scenes that make the reader go “awwwwwww” and make everyone around this googly-eyed couple sick. But I fear that we have perhaps reached a bit too far when the scene near the end where they exchange promise rings and pretend to get married is, somehow less sugary sweet than this scene.

At last, we are on the long-rumored class trip volume, and it is in Hawaii, on the main island. Yoshin and Nanami have been told by their parents to use this trip to get even closer to each other, and have been told by their teachers that they’d better watch themselves because, as everyone seems to know (including them), the moment that these two give in and kiss with tongue they won’t be able to stop and she will get pregnant. Fortunately, there are other really adorable couple things to do, like a nighttime sneak to the hotel pool, the aforementioned scuba diving, a trip to the beach to show off new swimsuits, and a shopping trip to purchase rings that leads to the oldest church in Hawaii (yes, the author very clearly wrote this based on their own trip), where they exchange vows, to the amusement of the elderly priest who catches them in the act. But do they get any closer? Do they finally do it?

Of course not. This is not the final volume, after all. But they do have a bath together, and she does accidentally see him naked in the shower. And they sleep in the same bed two days in a row. That will have to do for these dorks. There’s also a lot more of the other token male classmate in this series, Hatsumi, who is a mild, friendlier version of the “horndog friend of the protagonist” we get in romcoms like this. We also get the beta couple of this series, Teshikaga and Shirishizu, wop become a couple on this trip, and (it is implied) have already gone further than our main couple. Let’s be honest, Yoshin and Nanami are both essentially perfect in every way, so we have to accept the fact that she can’t even let Yoshin touch her boobs without having an aneurysm and calling the whole thing off. C’est la vie.

Next up seems to be Christmas, with the obligatory sexy Santa cover outfit. Till then, recommended for everyone who likes sweeter than pie romcoms.