By Yuishi and Kagachisaku. Released in Japan as “Inkya no Boku ni Batsu Game de Kokuhaku Shitekita Hazu no Gal ga, Dō Mitemo Boku ni Beta Bore Des” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Satoko Kakihara.

This is not exactly a series that moves at the speed of light. As Yoshin says in this book, they haven’t even gotten to their first anniversary yet. Thee reason that it feels like it’s been forever is that by now Yoshin and Nanami are essentially married in all but legal name, and the only reason that they haven’t gone further than kissing is Yoshin’s iron will… well, no, because the two of them are massive cowards, that becomes apparent near the end here. But we are actually headed into final exams, which means senior year will soon be upon them. This is not an issue for Nanami, who has terrific grades and a career she’s striving for. Yoshin, though, has only just woken up to the fact that he now has a girlfriend, as well as actual other friends (something he literally has to be told here). Not a surprise his future is hazy.

The last few volumes have consistently hit holidays, and this one does as well, Valentine’s Day is coming up. For Yoshin this has always been just another day, one he can safely ignore. Nanami is somewhat horrified to hear that he hasn’t even gotten obligation chocolate from classmates, but is also kind of delighted as she gets another of his firsts. Meanwhile, his friend Hitoshi, who we saw on the class trip getting along with a Hawaiian girl, went back there with his parents and they got on even better. To the point where she’s coming there for a trip. And since she’s American, they researched American Valentine’s, meaning Yoshin now also has to come up with a Valentine gift. And they also want the day off to be romantic. Which means, before that, ALL THE WORK HOURS. Fortunately, Nanami is now working at the same restaurant as Yoshin does, because this series is comfy as hell.

Yoshin’s self-reflective monologue about how he’s not remotely the protagonist of a story, with Nanami trying hard to convince him this isn’t the case, is probably not as cute as the author thinks it is, but it does give a nice view into the mind of Yoshin, who may have had a hot loving girlfriend for almost a year, but still tends to get into the “woe is me, why do I suck so much?” mindset at the drop of a hat. This is probably the main reason why he and Nanami still aren’t going further, despite the fact that even her grandparents are kind of hinting that the two of them should bonk, and their parents leaving several convenient times when no one is in the house. But no, nothing happens beyond a few really heavy french kisses. This despite Nanami really trying hard, with senpai/kohai roleplay, maid cosplay, more maid cosplay, still MORE maid cosplay, and “won’t you lick the chocolate off my body?” play. Which, as I said, goes nowhere, alas.

The next volume came out in Japan about a week and a half ago, and no doubt deals with White Day. We will be waiting. A bit frustrated, but waiting.

By Yuishi and Kagachisaku. Released in Japan as “Inkya no Boku ni Batsu Game de Kokuhaku Shitekita Hazu no Gal ga, Dō Mitemo Boku ni Beta Bore Des” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Satoko Kakihara.

Given that the bulk of this series is our two main leads flirting hard with each other, deliberately or no, it makes sense that this is also what’s going on with the author. Oh, sure, the start of the series was different. We had the push and pull of “when will they discover they both know and admit their feelings”. But ever since they got together as a real couple, the books have been the author as Lucy, holding a football, saying, “I bet this is the one where they finally give in” and the reader as Charlie Brown running up to kick it, even as we know intellectually that no sex is going to happen until the final volume of the series, and probably not even then. This doesn’t run on porn, it runs on horniness, and the true tease knows that you need to keep the audience on edge as long as possible to make the release all the sweeter. If it happens at all.

Christmas has passed, which means both Yoshin and Nanami are going off to visit their respective grandparents, and will be apart for about a week. Though come on, this is the modern era, they just video chat every night. We meet Yoshin’s grandparents, who are astonished how much he’s changed, as well as his tall, cute older cousin, who you’d expect would be a subplot involving a jealous Nanami till you remember what series you’re reading. (Nanami does get jealous later, no worries.) After that it’s time for a shrine visit, where they run into Nanami’s two besties and their problematic significant other, as well as the problematic class president. Finally, the two of them convince their parents to let them go on a hot springs date in Hokkaido for two days and one nights – with one condition. You can guess what that condition is.

The reason, of course, that this remains so horny and yet so wholesome is that Nanami is absolutely the one pushing harder to go further, while Yoshin is steeling himself to not even do anything beyond kissing and hugging till they’re married. This gives her all the power, which is why it’s relaxing. We see that at the shrine, as he wishes that the gods help him nail down his libido so he doesn’t do anything he’ll regret, while Nanami’s, I suspect, were probably the opposite. At the hot spring hotel, they get closer than they’ve ever been – thanks partly to an in-room open air hot spring, and in part thanks to some horny college girls hitting on Yoshin without realizing he’s under 18 and also taken. They’ve now seen each other naked – by accident, and the interstitial art has to give Nanami the largest hand towel known to man to make it OK – but that’s as far as it gets. This series knows it’s in it as long as the publisher demands.

Next time, Valentine’s Day! Which will be a bit, as it only came out in Japan a month ago. Till then, enjoy these sweet kids not banging.

By Yuishi and Kagachisaku. Released in Japan as “Inkya no Boku ni Batsu Game de Kokuhaku Shitekita Hazu no Gal ga, Dō Mitemo Boku ni Beta Bore Des” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Satoko Kakihara.

Welcome back to everyone’s favorite romcom with one running gag. It’s still great. They’re both still really sweet. But the entire series has one joke, used throughout, which makes it hard to review. The joke is the fact that everyone in the world thinks these two have gone further than they have. This is not helped by Yoshin and Nanami themselves, who feed each other oranges in the cafeteria with no care (well, Yoshin cares, but he simply ignores the rest of the school because he’s in love with his girl). But the class can’t get over the fact that the two cannot stop flirting with each other, little girls on the street are ready to see them becoming parents soon, and their own parents are torn between wanting them to get sexually active (as it’s what they did in high school) and wanting to prevent it at any cost (because once they get a first taste, these two will never be able to stop screwing until Nanami is pregnant).

The class is back from Hawaii, and it becomes very clear that Japan is in a different season. December is around the corner, and Yoshin gets a cold, and has to have a strangely enthusiastic Nanami take care of him. Next is Yoshin’s birthday, which he has to admit he’s never really cared about much before. But now he has friends, a girlfriend, and something besides video games, so it’s time for birthday-related events, Nanami-style. And of course there’s Christmas, which is a couple’s holiday in Japan. Sure, they’re going to do a class party, with Secret Santa and prizes. But the main reason to get excited is sexy Santa outfits. Well, that and the fact that their parents are letting her stay the night at his place… alone. Will this be the volume that they finally sleep together?

I mean, technically yes, in this volume they both mutually agree to sleep next to each other. But no overt touching, because, as I said above, once they pop they can’t stop. But yeah, come on, you know there’s no sex, and that’s the only real plot – will they sex? No. Instead, let’s talk about the title, as I saw someone recently say that the title is telling a lie as Nanami is not remotely a gyaru in the way that most otaku see them. I’d have to agree that in terms of her general attitude she’s more of a yamato nadeshiko with a teasing side. and a touch of the dojikko as well. The gyaru part mostly comes from her fashion sense, and her careful cultivation of outfits, both for herself and for her boyfriend, throughout the series. “This male fantasy is head over heels for me” does not sell nearly as many books, though.

We’re caught up with Japan, as the 12th book just came out last month. It promises a hot springs trip for two! Will it be 200 pages of porn? (I’d settle for half a page of porn.) Recommended for those who love cinnamon rolls who are too good for this world, too pure.