By Keiichi Sigsawa and Kouhaku Kuroboshi, based on the series created by Reki Kawahara. Released in Japan by ASCII Mediaworks. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Stephen Paul.

And so it’s finally here, the Sword Art Online novels for the fan who hates Sword Art Online. Or at least that’s how this is sometimes described. Sword Art Online is a very popular franchise, but it’s also the series that’s cool to hate, particularly its lead character. And so there’s a certain desire to play around in the universe but without all the baggage of Kirito and friends. Enter Alternative, where the author (best known here as the creator of Kino’s Journey, though he also is a specialist at playing in author author’s worlds) explicitly says that none of the main cast will ever be in these books. Nor is he really interested in the death game or its sequel. No, instead we have what is essentially Gunsmith Cats: the RPG, only Rally has been replaced by Goldie. The author loves guns, so do the characters, and you’d better be prepared to hear about guns.

For those who haven’t read the manga (which I reviewed last year) or seen the anime (which just ended this week), SAO Alternative stars Karen, a very tall girl who has few friends because she’s introverted and tall. Her friends tries to get her to do MMORPGs like ALO, but Karen’s character creation always gives her a really tall character – exactly what she doesn’t want. In desperation she tries to sci-fi apocalypse shooter Gun Gale Online, and finds, at last, she’s tiny! And cute! After playing around a bit, she runs into Pitohui, who is cool, gives good advice, and also seems to have a screw loose or two, though we don’t really get into that as much as I expected this book. She recommends that LLENN (as Karen names herself) participate in a new event called the Squad Jam, which is basically the BoB tournament but for teams. Sadly, Pitohui can’t make it, but she does provide LLENN with a partner, the hulking giant M, who also is there to give advice and backup. With a team of only two, can they possibly win this?

If you’re here for gun battles, then this is absolutely the book for you. The Squad Jam itself takes up two-thirds of the book, and is exciting, dramatic and fun. LLENN proves to be a natural at the game, and her headspace is also fun to follow. The purpose of the characters in this book seems to be “make them different from the real players” to contrast with the SAO crew. Karen has a short, tiny character, the stoic, invulnerable M proves to be, well, rather less stoic and invulnerable, and the team that LLENN ends up going against in the finals are a group of big burly Russian women who, it will not surprise the reader to know, are not big, burly and Russian in real life. It’s an escape. That said, while I enjoyed this book it’s not as ambitious as SAO – I’d say it’s better written but lacks the highs and lows of the original series. It feels like Sigsawa has no greater motivation than “I want to play in this sandbox”. It’s a fun sandbox, though, and if you hate SAO this may be for you.

Also, the Agatha Christie fan in me is annoyed that the team name is not “LLENN or M?”.

By Reki Kawahara and abec. Released in Japan by ASCII Mediaworks. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Stephen Paul.

As you might gather from the title, Kirito and Eugeo are divided throughout the book, as the cliffhanger from last time leaves Kirito and Alice hanging off the edge of the tower, and Eugeo needs to go on by himself to duel the last of the Integrity Knights there to stop them. This once again allows the author to alternate between third-person Eugeo POV and first-person Kirito POV. I’m not entirely certain if the hate-on fans have for Kirito is as omnipresent in Japan as it is here in the West, but I get the sense that Kawahara is playing with the reader a bit here. Eugeo is the straightforward, pure, noble type hero and Kirito is the snarky little cheater. Possible the funniest moment in the book is when Kirito wears Eugeo’s sword, and he and Alcie talk for a bit about how difficult using two swords actually is. Kirito doesn’t bring up his past as he feels embarrassed by it. Even Kirito is sick of Kirito. That said, Eugeo does not end up in a good place either.

As I said before, Kirito and Alice end up hanging off the tower by their swords, and have to find a way to climb up about twenty floors. This allows them to snark at each other, bond during fights, and of course for Kirito to tell Alice what’s really going on with the Integrity Knights. I will note that this scene should look fantastic when animated, though I suspect my fear of heights will mean I would never be able to watch it. I was most interested in how Kirito and the author are both telling the reader to think of Alice Zuberg, the little girl and childhood friend, as a separate person from Alice Synthesis Thirty, the Integrity Knight. Kirito knows that saving the former means killing the latter, and is feeling increasingly bad about that. More to the point, Eugeo is clearly there for Alice Zuberg… but Alice the Integrity Knight is obviously being set up as another of Kirito’s love interests.

Speaking of Eugeo, his fight against Bercouli was pretty awesome, and I was amused by the idea of a time-traveling sword slash. Eugeo gets the better of him in sort of a double suicide attack, but unfortunately is then found and brought to the administrator, whereupon he runs up against the necessity of the plot. Kirito and Eugeo are both great protagonists, but there can be only one Kirito in Sword Art Online. And come on, you know that the two friends were going to have to battle at some point. So yes, much as we’d like Eugeo to be strong and throw off the obvious brainwashing, he falls, and the cliffhanger shows that he is now an Integrity Knight with his memory removed. (Speaking of which, Alice, Eugeo and Kirito all have flashes of Kirito being present in their childhood – something Kirito clearly doesn’t recall now. I do wonder what’s going on there.)

So we’re all set up for friend vs. friend next time around. Will they finally be able to take down the Administrator? Well, possibly not, as we’re only now at the halfway point of the Alicization arc. One last thing: Kirito and Alice discovering the true nature of the Senators may in fact be the darkest, most horrifying scene Kawahara has ever written. Well done. I shuddered.

By Reki Kawahara and abec. Released in Japan by ASCII Mediaworks. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Stephen Paul.

Last time I mentioned that the regulars not named Kirito barely appeared in the book, and this time they don’t appear at all – even Asuna isn’t in it, as we spend our entire time in Underworld watching Kirito and Eugeo slowly make their way upward in order to stop our chief villain of this arc. It can be a bit frustrating, especially as Kawahara excels at introducing new characters who could conceivably be quite an interesting addition to the ensemble and then leaving them by the side of the road. Eugeo, at least, continues to play the second protagonist role admirably, and once again the narration of the book is divided, with first-person Kirito for the first half and third-person Eugeo for the second. The book, in fact, somewhat mirrors the last one – just as that ended with a pile of exposition after a series of cool fights, so this one begins with the exposition before we get to the fighting. Kirito even gives us a “for those of you just starting this series” intro.

My favorite part of the book was probably the two girls on the cover, Fizel and Linel. They’re introduced at a point where the ordinary reader would be very suspicious, which is why the cover fakeout is so clever – given that they flank Kirito, clearly they’re meant to be new allies that he picks up along the way. A heh. Perhaps not. That said, once their subplot is done they are tossed out of the way like everyone else, and I do wonder if we’ll ever see what becomes of them, particularly if Kirito wins the day, something that is still not entirely certain. The best fight scene in the book goes to an Integrity Knight named Fanatio, which has to be intentional as she certainly seems fanatical. She has a complex about being a feminine knight, both because she was treated as weak by other men before and also because Alice has just arrived and is pulling off being feminine and hella strong perfectly. Kirito, who points out that he’s had the crap kicked out of him by women in fights before, is all too happy to duel her and teach ehr the error of her ways. It’s not terrible, but I’m not sure it comes off the way he wants it to – there’s still a tinge of sexism here.

Of course, we knew that before we reached the top of the tower and the final villain we’d have to fight Alice again. And, as if proving Fanatio to be even more wrong, she proceeds to absolutely kick Kirito and Eugeo’s asses, at least until the obligatory cliffhanger. Given everything that we learn about the Integrity Knights in the early infodump, I am curious as to whether Kirito and Eugeo will be able to snap her out of it – I suspect that may take up a good deal of the next book. In the meantime, Sword Art Online continues to be exactly the sort of series you think it is. The highs still high, the frustrations still omnipresent. I’d still argue it’s well worth a read, unless you hate Kirito.

Also, I found it hilarious that Kirito points out he has now failed to graduate THREE times – from middle school (trapped in SAO), high school (being trapped here), and sword academy (for breaking the taboo index). It’s OK, Kirito, there’s always McRonald’s.