Marriage, Divorce and Beyond: The White Mage and Black Knight’s Romance Reignited, Vol. 1

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By Takasugi Naturu and kieshi akaz. Released in Japan as “Saishō Hosa to Kurokishi no Keiyaku Kekkon to Rikon to Sonogo: Henkyō no Chi de Futari wa Fūfu o Yarinaosu” by DRE Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Heart. Translated by Olivia Plowman.

Generally speaking, when I am supremely irritated with a book, it tends to be for a few basic reasons. “Your attempts at comedy aren’t funny” is a good one. Also “your attempts to be horny are merely deeply misogynistic”. And occasionally “your violence is so ridiculous it’s stopped being horrifying”. It’s very rare, however, that we get “your desire to show how bad things are for the heroine are so amazingly over the top that it verges on torture porn”. This book is theoretically a romance, and you do sort of get that in the last third or so. And yes, I understand that the author has an agenda, and that agenda is “hey, husbands and wives need to actually talk to each other”. But oh my god, getting through the middle third of this book was like punching myself in the face over and over again. Sheer misery. I read books to enjoy them, remember?

The book opens with the lovely wedding of Lina, a Black Knight whose job it is to fight against dragons due to the old magic she has, and Joshua, a white mage who can use his compatible magic to protect her before she goes out to fight dragons. We then cut to four years later, when she’s just received grievous wounds from a dragon because her white magic protection was inadequate – and her injuries are so bad she’s been fired. The rest of the front half of the book traces he steps before and between those points, as we see Lina struggle with a nobility that despises commoners and a tendency to suffer nobly, and her husband Joshua contends with work never allowing him time with his wife and a tendency to not be overly expressive. The result is disaster.

We’ve had evil nobility in many light novels before, but they’ve tended to be cartoon evil nobles. The prejudice and disdain in this book is played 100% for drama (there may not be a funny line in the entire book) and you just want Lina to go apeshit and start stabbing everyone. Then there’s the end of the book. Not to spoil TOO much, but essentially everything that’s been happening to Lina and Joshua since their marriage has been engineered. We find this out right near the end. The evil mastermind was… a guy we met towards the start of the book, who gave friendly advice, and who I had completely forgotten about. He references his past history with Joshua at the academy, which sure would have been nice to see in flashbacks, but no. Oh yes, and on realizing that the man who he’d asked to reform the nobility and stop the hatred of commoners is in fact an evil noble, the prince’s first reaction is “welp, I tried, guess I’d better stop reform” and he has to be talked back into it.

Lastly, it’s never a good sign when you realize that all the heart-wrenching scenes you’ve written aren’t enough, and you have the heroine dream of scenes that are exaggerated parodies of these scenes, just to make her more miserable. Fortunately, this wraps up nicely and neatly in one book, so I can cheerfully ignore the “1” on the cover and go on to read more happy, upbeat things, like Roll Over and Die.

Making Jam in the Woods: My Relaxing Life Starts in Another World, Vol. 1

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By Kosuzu Kobato and Yuichi Murakami. Released in Japan as “Mori no Hotori de Jam wo Niru: Isekai de Hajimeru Slow Life” by Kadokawa Books. Released in North America by Cross Infinite World. Translated by Jade Willis.

If this author sounds familiar, there’s a good reason. We’ve already seen The Apothecary Witch Turned Divorce Agent, as well as I’d Rather Have a Cat Than a Harem, and True Love Fades Away When the Contract Ends will be out next year. So it makes sense to circle round and pick up one of the author’s earlier works. This one is definitely on the “slow life” end of the scale, as the author freely admits in the afterword. Not a heck of a lot happens here. Hell, we don’t even get to see all that much jam making. But this book basically fulfills everything you want from a a slow life title: pleasant, likeable protagonist, friends around her who help and care for her, and the daily reward of basic tasks. Our heroine is living in the woods, and her host prefers to live fairly low-tech, so it’s all just very… relaxing. That’s the vibe here. Dull? A bit. But not much.

Our heroine (who doesn’t even get a Japanese name) works at a department store, and has come in on one of her few days off, despite exhaustion from overwork, to help out in an emergency… which makes it unfortunately when a runaway truck in a parking garage kills her. Yes, that’s right, we get both “death by working too hard” *and* “truck sends me to another world”. She’s found on the side of a riverbank by a dog, but sadly being sent to another world did not heal any of her injuries. Fortunately, there’s a doctor nearby, and this world has healing magic. As she recovers at the home of the dog’s owner, a former Countess, she’s informed that she’s a Spirit Caller, meaning she can interact with fairies. Unfortunately, this also means she can’t do any magic. And also, for some mysterious reason, she can’t speak. Still, she makes do.

Our heroine being mute is an interesting idea, though I honestly feel that the conversation flows a little too well despite this, even before she gets her magical writing pad. But essentially, this falls into the standard isekai plot for women readers. For male readers, it’s all about accumulating cool powers and multiple wives, while for women it tends more towards “now I can finally relax and not be working myself to death”. Like Sei from The Saint’s Magic Power Is Omnipotent, Margaret is said to look a lot younger after she’s recovered, and the running gag in the book is everyone giving her headpats, as she thinks they’re treating her like a child. As for her love interest, well, he’s a sullen young man with a tough upbringing who has become stoic and taciturn, but warms up to Margaret and falls in love with her pretty quickly. These are still romances.

This is apparently three volumes total, and I imagine the next one will have her actually visit the royal capital and finding out more about what Spirit Calling entails. Till then, let’s watch her make jam and get headpatted.

Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear, Vol. 16

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By Kumanano and 029. Released in Japan by PASH! Books. Released in North America by Seven Seas. Translated by Jan Cash & Vincent Castaneda. Adapted by Lorin Christie.

Every few volumes, the series needs to have Yuna go somewhere she’s never been before, partly because otherwise the series would get even more boring than it already tends to be (sorry, Yuna, I really don’t care about you making omelettes from giant eggs), but also so that the audience can remember that a girl walking around in a bear onesie is not normal and does, in fact, make people think Yuna is either a child or deeply weird. They’re not wrong on the second part, but the bear suit is, of course, absolutely essential for Yuna – and she can’t actually explain why. Some folks have seen obliquely that when Yuna is not in the suit (such as the beach scenes two books ago) she’s super weak, but I don’t think they’ve connected it to “the bear stuff gives her all her power”. Honestly, if this series ever ends, that may be the final boss. Someone who steals her bear suit/gear and forces her to rely on others.

After a few introductory chapters like “let’s make pressed flowers” or “let’s make ice cream”, Yuna decides to do something she’d been meaning to do for a while: go visit the dwarves’ village. She takes Fina, because shed get lonely otherwise, and ends up picking up Luimin from the elves’ village as well. (Elves and dwarves get along fine here, confusing Yuna, who is used to fantasy cliches.) While there, they also meet Jade’s party, who are there because Toya is finally going to get his mithril sword… or at least, he would be if the blacksmith didn’t reject him for not being good enough. As for Yuna, she’s busy buying pots and pans for everyone she knows, as well as talking with the mentor of the dwarf blacksmiths she knows, who is currently refusing to make swords.

It is interesting sometimes to imagine the audience for this series. It’s filled with cute girls, so you’d think that “guys who like to see cute girls” would be the #1. That said, the book really does like to hammer home how useless the guys in it are. Yuna sometimes forgets that Fina also has a stepdad in addition to her mom. Toya is basically a punching bag for everyone else in the cast until right at the end of the volume, and his story is still going to have to wait for the next book to get resolved. Is the book for yuri fans? The author is definitely writing in more yuri tease, with both Shia and Fina indicating they’d be very happy being Yuna’s bride. Unfortunately, like a lot of yuri tease series, Yuna is always there to say things like “but I don’t like girls that way” or “that’s not happening”. Is the book fans fans of grumpy 15-year-old girls in a bear suit who constantly worry about her flat chest? That seems most likely.

This book ends in the middle of the dwarf plot, so I’d expect the next book to resolve it. Till then, this sure was a volume of Kuma Bear.