Safe & Sound in the Arms of an Elite Knight, Vol. 1

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By Fuyu Aoki and Minori Aritani. Released in Japan as “Doinaka no Hakugai Reijо̄ wa О̄to Elite Kishi ni Dekiai Sareru” by DRE Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Heart. Translated by Dawson Chen.

This one starts off rough, and I would not blame some people for noping out of the title when they read the first 30 pages or so. If you took Cinderella but made the abuse much, much worse, you’d have the start of this book. That said, AFTER the first thirty pages or so of the novel, you get to the reason it exists, which is basically “healing”, with a small side of romance. The romance is definitely there, don’t get me wrong, but our two leads are both too busy trying to get over past traumas and their own issues to really pledge their love to each other just yet. However, they *can* both be the best thing that ever happened to each other, and we se that here. Chloe allows Lloyd to see those around him and to feel warmth and softer emotions again. And Lloyd literally saves Chloe’s life, and also patiently waits for her to cope with some very real trauma. “Safe & Sound* is the important part.

Chloe was born deep in the mountains to a margrave’s family. Unfortunately, she was born with a large birthmark on her, during a famine, and her father and one of her siblings died shortly after this. As a result, she has the reputation of a “cursed child”, and is treated like a slave by her mother and sister. One day her mother snaps and tries to stab her, and Chloe flees the house and runs away to the capital… a mere three-week long journey through dangerous woods. On her arrival, she’s exhausted and confused, and is almost taken by some hooligans before being saved by a passing young man. The young man is Lloyd, the shining star of the Elite Knights in the capital. He takes Chloe back to his house, and after a lot of back and forth she agrees to be his housekeeper.

This book is definitely about overcoming trauma, but it’s not exactly the most subtle about it. Chloe’s mother and sister are cartoon villains, as are the ones who accost her on the street. Moreover, the moment I saw that she was having trouble cooking meals because knives gave her flashbacks to her mother’s attempted murder, I knew exactly how the book would end, and I was right. Still, the main reason to read this is the healing vibes, and it gets that perfectly. Chloe is just the right amount of “complete lack of self-esteem” that would naturally come from her background without being over the top, and I appreciated that Lloyd had his own childhood issues (also a bit ridiculous, to be honest) to cope with, rather than being the perfect boyfriend immediately. There are also several plot points left hanging for a Volume 2, including a possible confrontation with her abusive family and telling Lloyd about her “curse”. I suspect that one of those will go better than the other.

So yes, not revelatory or anything, and it paints in broad strokes, but this is a solid romance for fans of the genre.

Fake Saint of the Year: You Wanted the Perfect Saint? Too Bad!, Vol. 1

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By kabedondaikou and Yunohito. Released in Japan as “Risō no Seijo? Zannen, Nise Seijo Deshita! Kuso of the Year to Yobareta Akuyaku ni Tensei Shitanda ga” by Kadokawa Books. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Rymane Tsouria.

One of the struggles in reviewing a giant pile of light novels is that there is not a lot of binary to it. While it would be much easier if every series was either magical and something you need to read immediately, or else a terrible dumpster fire of a series that you never want to read another volume of, the sad fact is that most series are various types of OK. They do some things well, but they also do some things badly. And figuring out if the badly outweighs the well is something I have never really been that good at, as you can likely guess given how much I’m trying to read. Fake Saint of the Year is another book like that. There’s some interesting stuff going on here, with a twist I quite enjoyed. That said, there’s a lot of “let’s throw that cliche in as it’s popular”, and the lead character’s narrative voice… is awful.

A loser NEET guy enjoys playing visual novels, and then one day he wakes up to find he’s in the 5-year-old body of Ellize, who is… brace yourself… the villainess of the game he was playing! Supposedly the “saint” of this world ,she had a ton of power, but didn’t cultivate it, and was abusive and awful to everyone. As it turned out, she wasn’t the true saint, so ended up being shamed, exiled, and eventually ripped apart. You would think, now that he is trapped in this villainess body, our hero is going to change Ellize’s fate so that she lives, but, having spoilery knowledge of the way the game works, he has no intention of doing that. Instead, he’s going to manipulate things so that his OTP avoids the unhappy ending it got in canon!

Let’s start with the bad: Ellize’s narrative voice is that of a skeezy 20-ish young man, who enjoys leering at, and (on occasion) groping the women around him. It makes the book very hard to recommend. The reason that Ellize gets away with it is that this is also one of those “whatever the heroine does, everyone will misinterpret it in the best way possible” sort of books, a la Tearmoon Empire. This is not helped by Ellize herself (there is little to no gender dysphoria in this book, the author just wanted to write a girl with a horndog inner voice, so I’ll use her), who keeps trying to do things that will drive people away from her but ends up saying wonderful, heroic speeches and being utterly kind to people. I’m not even sure she’s aware of that. There’s also the big twist in the game, which is a twist that works very well in the book as well, and leads to some genuinely good drama.

Sadly, this is another one of those “this book does not end, it just stops” novels, so we’ll need to wait for Vol. 2 to find out what happens next. In the meantime, if you can overlook a heroine who enjoys ogling large-breasted woman and saying “no homo!” whenever it’s implied a guy might like her, there are things to enjoy here.

BLADE & BASTARD: Wireframe Dungeon & Dragon with Red Dead

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By Kumo Kagyu and so-bin. Released in Japan as “Blade & Bastard” by Dre Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Sean McCann.

I will give Blade & Bastard some credit: the author is not afraid to state right up front that every woman in this book is the author’s barely disguised fetish. In the first volume we were introduced to the feral redhead who only communicates in barks and yaps, and here we see she’s also fond of stripping naked to clean herself in the middle of the street. There’s a nun who’s constantly trying to get people to be more religious, but she also really, really really REALLY loves violence. And in this second volume we mete a massive dojikko, and by massive I mean that she is six-foot-six. The book starts by describing her as “Tall, with big eyes. Big muscles, big boobs, and a big butt too.”. She also has the self-worth of a peanut. Really, you have to hand it to Kumo Kagyu. He knows that anyone who stays past that opening sentence is here for the long haul. And, to be fair, there is still a lot here to like as well.

The big everything girl is Berkanan, whose corpse our heroes find in the dungeon towards the start of the book. She’s been killed by a massive fire dragon that has taken residence in the dungeon, and is stopping adventurers from going through it, as the dragon is well-nigh unkillable. Upon revival, Berkanan begs Iarumas, Garbage and Raraja to help her go back into the dungeon and kill the dragon, out of a combination of anger that she was killed and a sort of desperate need to prove herself, probably as she’s a mage who’s trained for years but she only knows one low-level spell. Still, SOMEONE needs to kill the dragon, or this town that is surviving only because of this one dungeon is doomed. Why can’t it be her?

The author knows how to write atmosphere, and a good fight scene, which is still probably the main reason to get this. Despite being a walking stereotype, Berkanan is quite likeable, and you root for her to succeed. Garbage still only barks and yaps, but she’s also a bit less feral and more domesticated, and we get more evidence that she’s secret royalty – mostly as assassins keep trying to kill her. Iarumas, alas, remains a walking NPC, though it was nice to see him almost show an emotion during the fight with the dragon. On the down side, aside from Berkanan being a walking fetish (the artist also enjoys emphasizing this), there is a small little man named Bank who deals in money… I can’t call anti-semitic just yet, but I feel like the moment we get any description of him he will be anti-semitic. Though that may be down to the source material.

And perhaps the biggest drawback, the translation seems wedded to reminding us this is based on Wizardry. We here someone has the power to survive, and then we see (hit points) after the word survive, as though it’s translating from novel to game. Spells are also used, and it just types the acronym (I assume) for the spell, such as HALITO. I get this book is meant to sell to Wizardry fans rather than light novel fans, but it does not make life easy. That said… despite everything, I also really liked Berkanan, who is simply a very sympathetic character, and I hope that we get more of her gaining confidence. I also hope she does not end up in a romantic rivalry with Garbage over Raraja, but I’m far less optimistic about that.