I’ll Never Set Foot in That House Again!, Vol. 3

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By Milli-gram and Yuki Kana. Released in Japan as “Nidoto ie ni wa Kaerimasen!” by Overlap Novels f. Released in North America digitally by J-Novel Club. Translated by Emily Hemphill.

There is one, brief shining moment in the third volume of this very sweet and also very dull series where I was engaged and interested, and (as with the second volume) it’s where we are reminded of the past that Chelsea has had. About halfway through this third volume a group of kidnappers enter the mansion of her friend and hold them hostage. After the situation is resolved (there’s really no suspense at all), Glen talks to Chelsea about why she wasn’t scared, and she reveals that she was fine once she knew there would be no pain, because it was the physical abuse that was the worst part of her old life. Chelsea casually talking about getting whipped on a near daily basis is jaw-dropping, mostly as she now possesses a defensive barrier and can literally create massive Venus Flytrap monsters to eat her enemies within seconds. She’s come a long way, and while I’m happy for her as a person, it damages the book.

Glen has proposed to Chelsea, and she’s now actually looking her age (though whether she acts it is in question), but we still have a few hoops to jump through before they can marry, and not just “wait till she gets older”. First she needs to make her debut in society, and that means gowns! It also means meeting the Queen, who thinks Chelsea is adorable and cute and also treats her like a Barbie doll whose clothes get changed 6 times a day. And she gets a new friend… almost by force… in Noel, a young noble who is enthusiastic about gardening and plants and therefore is very eager to talk with someone who knows her stuff. Unfortunately, as I noted above, there’s the break-in and hostage situation. And it turns out that the people trying to kill Chelsea, who we met in the previous book, are still trying to kill Chelsea. Can she survive to her engagement ceremony?

I mean, yes. She can create anything in the entire world from seeds as long as she can visualize it. She has a personal defensive barrier. She has an army of soldiers ready to defend her. And now she’s creating monsters to eat her enemies. She has maids who love her, a cook who not only loves to feed her (and she can finally actually eat meals now that she’s no longer being starved to death) but can also interrogate enemies with her own special magic, her research team, her cool older brother, and of course Glen, who adores and wants to protect her. There’s an after story where she and Glen go to his home and discover that the enemy is a giant crab, but once Chelsea is there she creates a trap (with a seed, natch) and the problem is solved.

You know what this series needs? Fagin. No, not the anti-semitism, but Chelsea is like Oliver Twist if he was rescued from the orphanage by Mr. Brownlow and the rest of the series was just meals and clothes. Chelsea desperately needs to be lured into evil or spirited away. Not because of her as a character – she’s a sweet girl, I don’t want bad things to happen to her. But for me, as a reader? Yes, I want bad things to happen to her.

The Reincarnated Princess Spends Another Day Skipping Story Routes, Vol. 2

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By Bisu and Yukiko. Released in Japan as “Tensei Oujo wa Kyou mo Hata o Tatakioru” by Arian Rose. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Tom Harris.

Generally speaking, most reincarnated folks who end up in the body of a little kid do NOT act like they’re an adult. This even applies to Rosemary, the protagonist of this series. Sure, she’s talking and making decisions that are far beyond what a child her age should be doing, but her emotional maturity remains at about the right level. There are many times this comes up in the books – her inability to get that other kids are in love with her is baked into the genre, but certainly her tearful confession to her crush and the scene that follows shows her as having the easily broken heart of a 10-year-old girl. This most applies, though, when she’s dealing with her father. Who, to be fair, is the King. But the reader recognizes the type that he is, and what he’s actually doing to help her – or at least test her – and I don’t think she sees this as the tough love it’s meant to be. It makes Randolf the most interesting character in this new volume.

Rosemary is still doing her best to try and avoid the dreadful fate her country is going to be in in a year or two, but it’s not easy, especially since she’s changed things so much that she can’t rely on her memories of the game shoe once played. She needs to research the Demon Lord, who possessed the body of a young priest… who she then runs across, pre-possession. She also discovers that most Demon Lord books are kept in the King’s personal library, which means she has to ask to read them and put up with his cold, calculating attitude. And, of course, she’s still in love with the Captain of the guards, Leonhart, who is quite a number of years older than she is – and also she’s ten, yes, a fact that definitely influences her thoughts on her crush. Worst of all, if she doesn’t figure out how to be incredibly useful to the King in the next two years, he’s going to do the obvious thing – marry her off to another country’s royal.

Rosemary remains the best reason to read this, especially when we see her (relatively low) opinion of herself versus everyone else’s (very high) opinion. This comes out best in a scene with Randolf, who castigates his daughter for thinking herself stupid for being unable to catch every possibility in advance. She’s not a God, even though she does have the knowledge of the game from her past life. Fortunately, she does reveal this (in a way, she treats it as a prophetic dream) to Leonhart, so at least has one ally she can turn to. Unfortunately, she’s falling more deeply in love with him by the day. And is, as I said, ten years old. So nothing’s gonna happen, but the emotional turmoil is still there.

The ending of this book implies the next one will likely be Rosemary’s tour of various lands, as she tries to discover more about what’s around her so that she can be a better person and of use to her father. I look forward to reading it, this is in the upper end of the Reincarnated Villainess charts, despite Rosemary not technically being a villainess.

Unnamed Memory, Vol. 4

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By Kuji Furumiya and chibi. Released in Japan by Dengeki Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Sarah Tangney.

As I predicted, the afterword of Vol. 3 was not, in fact, telling the truth. We are still following the story of Oscar and Tinasha. Indeed, the story may start to seem a bit familiar. Oscar and his aide are still traveling to try to find a way to end his curse, and they run into Tinasha, who says she will do it in a certain amount of time. The trouble is that this is the changed timeline. In the last book Oscar changed history, and so he is not quite the Oscar we know. Tinasha is also different, though at least we’ve seen her before – the young queen who Oscar saved put herself in stasis for 400 years so that she could meet him again. As such, the main amusement with this new volume is that it’s Tinasha who’s instantly lovestruck and talking marriage, and Oscar who is the reluctant one putting her off. That said, they’re still clearly made for each other. Unfortunately, a lot of the same issues that were problems before are back, and still problems.

One thing that I find hard when I write about this series is that it really is a pure fantasy, with virtually none of the standard “Japanese light novel;” schtick we’ve gotten so used to. A lot of my reviews write themselves because I can talk about the standard tropes and how well they work, or how this character is slightly less bland than the norm. With Unnamed Memory, though, the plot and writing is so well done and the book so immersive that I can’t use that crutch. What’s more, I don’t really want to spoil the plot twists (aside from the one that, well, happens right at the very start of the book) because they’re good twists. So what am I supposed to do? Talk about how Oscar is a really good fighter and that Tinasha is cute when she’s angry? You already know that.

I could talk about the deaths. There are an awful lot of assassination attempts in this book, mostly against Oscar but also against Tinasha, and all of them involve finding the culprit and their accomplices and killing them. While Oscar and Tinasha are trying to move the world they live in into a more modern and peaceful age, this is not that age, and there are quite a few characters who are captured, forced to talk, and them killed – or kill themselves before that can happen. Indeed, one of the few surprises I will talk about is one where a villain is, in fact, NOT killed off – mostly as he was clearly trying to do this in order to help his country and their somewhat meek ruler, rather than because of evil power grabs. If you’re going to assassinate someone, you’d better have a damn good reason for it, it can’t just be “they obstruct my path to all-encompassing glory!”.

So yes, sorry to be a broken record, but this is still excellent. My one major complaint is how long each book is. This is going to be six volumes total, and there’s no reason why it could not be twelve normal-sized books.