You Call That Service?, Vol. 1

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By Kisetsu Morita and Hiroki Ozaki. Released in Japan as “Omae no Gohoushi wa Sono Teido ka?” by GA Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Jasmine Bernhardt.

This book lets you know right away that it’s a comedy, and, with the exception of one or two bits near the end, does not really let up on that throughout the volume. The characters do comedic things, the setup is written to be highly amusing, there’s a lot of boke/tsukkomi humor, and you get the standard harem novel staples, lots of girls after the hero, misunderstandings, etc. There is even a psycho lesbian and a yandere stalker girl, which Japan seems to find far more hilarious than I ever have. Actually, that seems to be the issue I have with this entire book. It really really sets itself up to be a laff riot, but it’s not particularly funny. There were times I smiled at an obvious gag, and there were points where you could clearly tell I was supposed to laugh, but the laughs just were not coming across. Which is a problem when your series is a comedy.

Our hero is Ryouta, whose grandfather made a misplaced wish that has cursed him to be attractive to all girls around him, which is a pain when the girls are mentally unstable or his immediate family. He’s walking in the mountains one day to get away from it all and happens on a city… and a young girl, who quickly bites him on the neck. She’s a vamp–erm, part of the Sacred Blood Empire, which this entire city is now made of, and wants Ryouta to be her minion. Sadly, he’s less obedient than she’d like. As they live together and go to school, he meets more Sacred Blood denizens, all of whom have their eyes on him, and learns about the Emperor, all the while yearning for the one girl in his life he actually felt love for, his elementary school crush. In the end, all these plotlines converge and Ryouta has to decide who he wants to be loyal to.

This was written in 2011, which is several generations old in light novel years, and it shows. The lead girl, Shana… erm, Taiga… no wait, Louise… Nagi? Ah, I got it, Shiren, cries out to be played by Rie Kugimiya, and Ryouta is the sort of bland, nice-but-snarky harem lead that you get in this sort of thing. The first 2/3 of this book is mostly them interacting, and while it’s comedy that I don’t find funny, it’s not all that bad. Shiren is clearly desperately lonely, and Ryouta realizes this fairly quickly. That said, there was one part where I did actively scream “fuck this”. As I said above, I’m not fond of “psycho lesbian” as a character trait to begin with, and this one went from zero to murderous in about ten seconds… then, after being forced to lick our hero’s blood in order to avoid dying, suddenly is into him as well. It’s one of the plotlines you’d assumed writers had given up on because it always gets bad press these days… but here it is.

The author is VERY prolific, having also written I’ve Been Kiling Slimes for 300 Years (which IS funny, though not always as funny as it wants to be) and the upcoming A Mysterious Job Called Oda Nobunaga. Both of those are likely better than this, which I recommend only to those anime fans who want to watch anything with a small, angry blonde with twintails.

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online: 3rd Squad Jam: Betrayer’s Choice (Part 2)

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By Keiichi Sigsawa and Kouhaku Kuroboshi, based on the series created by Reki Kawahara. Released in Japan by Dengeki Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Stephen Paul.

As with most of these volumes, I find that this volume of SAO Alternative starts slow and gradually gets going till a 2nd half that verges on fantastic. The first part of the book briefly checks in with all the other teams, showing us what they were doing while Llenn and company were having their adventures by the train depot in the first part. They all gradually get the same notice: one of them is a traitor, please report to the traitor area for debriefing. The reactions range from vague dissatisfaction to rage to deep sadness, and then there’s Pitohui, who is OVER THE MOON. The story then moves to a massive ocean liner that is grounded on the island… except the island is sinking under the ocean, so gradually it becomes a real boat. Can everyone get to the boat before they drown? Can they defeat this new team made up of “betrayers”? And will the betrayers really work together anyway?

There are some nice moments with characters other than the two leads, I will briefly admit. The soldier that Pitohui fought in the 2nd Squad Jam gets a name and some righteous fury, not that it does him much good. SHINC are still the best huge Russian women who are really cute middle schoolers out there, and I really loved it when Llenn and Eva teamed up – if they can’t have their long-awaited battle (and it’s become clear by now the narrative will ALWAYS stop them in some way), this is almost as good. Fukaziroh is also a lot of fun, with quips at the ready, though she also functions as a good sounding board for Pitohui to actually (gasp!) open up. And the final battle between Fukaziroh and Eva is almost as good as Llenn and Pitohui’s. But not quite. Because, once again, we’re here to read about these two girls and their twisted relationship.

A warning for those who love reading SAO spinoffs but hate Kirito: he’s not in this book, but a flashback shows Pitohui, as a beta tester for SAO, fighting a swordsman who is very clearly him. I’m very glad that Pitohui missed getting trapped in SAO despite what it ended up doing to her already somewhat broken self, as I suspect she would have ended up in Laughing Coffin. (So does she.) But it’s seeing Pito’s vulnerability that’s the best part of this book – admitting to Fukaziroh that she’s terrified of Llenn, her real-life bodies own limits impacting her performance towards the end, and her own latent attraction to Llenn, who is not only cute and lethal (especially when in a rage-filled haze as she is towards the end here) but also in real life tall, athletic, and pretty. Sadly, Llenn still seems to have no interest.

I left out the book’s big spoiler, as it’s a very well done twist. And the ship’s AI was wonderful. Other than that… well, people read Alternative for the gun battles, and there are certainly a lot of those here. I read Alternative for the characters, though, and it was great to see some development with them as well. Will we get a 4th Squad Jam next/ Or something else?

Re: ZERO ~Starting Life in Another World~, Vol. 11

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By Tappei Nagatsuki and Shinichirou Otsuka. Released in Japan by MF Bunko J. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Jeremiah Borque.

I was sort of expecting this volume of Re: ZERO to be a lot of dying and repeating, and that’s what it is, but we have the added factor, which is good for the reader but bad for Subaru, that things are not repeating in the same way. Due to the nature of Subaru’s Return by Death, every time he dies and comes back the people he needs to convince distrust him more and more as a possible Witch Cultist. Also concerning (and thankfully pointed out by the text) is that Subaru is getting perhaps a little too used to his Return by Death, to the point that his normal emotions are getting a bit flattened. Now, admittedly, the end of the book shows this is not necessarily the case, but if Subaru is going to be a pragmatist I would like him to be one who shouts and waves his hands and is sarcastic to people he dislikes. Grimdark Subaru is not a thing I want.

Having been ignominiously killed by a familiar face at the end of last book, Subaru wakes up in the Tomb, having just completed the first task. He now informs the reader that the one who killed him was Elsa. Remember Elsa? From Book 1? She’s back, and as he finds out when he returns to the mansion again, this time with Ram, she’s there for slaughter and not much else. Even when he can escape her he’s eaten by some sort of beast creature. And things aren’t much better back at the Sanctuary. As I said earlier, Garf is disliking him more and more due to the “witch smell” he gives off the more he returns by death, Roswaal is being very cagey and suspicious (Subaru asks him point blank at one time “are you the enemy?”), and Emilia is sadly still not passing her trial – in fact, she’s barely in this book, much to the annoyance of fans who would like to see her at least try to pull even with Rem.

A lot of this series relies on really good scenes that stick with you long after you’ve finished reading, and here the best of those is at the end of another Bad End in the mansion where Elsa is killing everyone. Subaru is already near death’s door from wounds and missing limbs when he happens upon the door to Beatrice’s library. Unfortunately, he was trying to rescue Rem at the time, so she’s toast. And Beatrice heals him, making it harder for him to go back and die. The ensuing temper tantrum that comes from him is understandable but also awful, and Beatrice’s hurt reaction, and then her enraged response, not only makes the reader feel horrible but also provides very important plot details. I suspect it may be Beatrice who gets development before Emilia here. Also nice to see Petra here again. Let’s give her a hand, people. (Sorry.)

So this was very much still a setup book, being Book 2 of 6 in this arc. There’s a lot of witches I didn’t really get into, including one familiar one who shows up right at the cliffhanger ending. Fans of the series will find a lot to sink their teeth into, though. Just… Subaru, are you OK?