Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Astrea Record, Vol. 1

February 21, 2024 by Leave a Comment

By Fujino Omori and Kakage. Released in Japan as “Astrea Record Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka?” by GA Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Jake Humphrey.

Before we begin, congratulations to Jake Humphrey, who joins the ranks of the translators on the world’s most cursed light novel series. I think this may actually push the total into double digits, if we count all the various spinoffs. I’m sure everything will be fine. Probably.

In retrospect, there were many things that were a mistake about this book. First, there’s the fact that it came out a mere six weeks after the 18th volume of the main series, which had already totally exhausted me. I understand that the three volumes of Astrea Record were released monthly in Japan, and I am so glad that’s not happening here. Secondly, I need to beg publishers: please stop forcing authors to write novels based on your spinoff game. First we got KonoSuba, and now Omori is being forced to toil away at this trilogy, which is probably why 19 in the main series isn’t scheduled here yet. But third, I knew going in that this series was going to be depressing. It stars everyone in Lyu’s old Familia, which means by definition everyone is going to end up dead in it except the goddess herself and Lyu. However, good news! This book is not a longer version of the canonical deaths we know about from the main series. That is the end of the good news.

This book takes place seven years before Bell Cranel arrives in a peaceful (ish) Orario. It’s far from peaceful here. The Evils are making everyone’s lives a living hell, and it’s all the various Families can do to keep the peace. This is, of course, in addition to going down and dungeon clearing, which the guild is also making them do. Fourteen-year-old Lyu, a rookie with Astrea Familia, is overly serious and quick to anger, but seems to be fitting in pretty well… that is, until a mysterious guy shows up and starts to ask her questions like “what is justice, really?”. Which, given Lyu is an emo teen, works like a charm in terms of throwing her off her game. That said, this book is not about Lyu. It’s about the series of bloody terrorist attacks that completely destroys the fragile city populace, and all of the adventurers trying to stop literally everyone from dying.

The goal of this book is to show off how much better things are in Bell’s time, and it achieves that admirable. It’s some of the most depressing prose I’ve read in a while. Lyu has a friend, the younger sister of Shakti, who is a bubbling beacon of hope and happiness, and all I could think was “wow, you are going to get horribly murdered”. And, yup, that’s what happens. The back half of this book is an absolute orgy of slaughter. Hell, Ottar – Ottar! – is nearly killed and beaten bloody, because we have two mysterious new bad guys in town, from the now defunct Zeus and Hera Familia. The warrior is the one who takes down Ottar, and he’s a sword guy. The mage takes out both Gareth and Riveria, and she has the mysterious name “Silent Witch”. (She’s not Monica Everett, sorry, crossover fans.) They’re both doing this for mysterious reasons that I think I can guess, but I’ll leave that for next time. At least they seem to be the only two doing this for reasons that aren’t “we love killing people”.

There’s two more books of this, yikes. I will try to read the second one, but if it’s just more “let’s kill anyone likable” for 250 more pages, I may bail. For hardcore Danmachi fans only.

Filed Under: is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon?, reviews

BLADE & BASTARD: Return of the Hrathnir

February 20, 2024 by Leave a Comment

By Kumo Kagyu and so-bin. Released in Japan as “Blade & Bastard” by Dre Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Sean McCann.

One of the frustrating things about this series is that it is obviously written for middle-aged men who grew up in the 1980s playing Wizardry and want to see the author mess around in that world. At the same time, it has the sort of set pieces that can only really be deeply enjoyed by fourteen year olds who love edgy torture scenes and constant rape threats by bad guys who are eeeeeeevil, just super, duper, ooper evil. You can tell because of the rape threats. No one is actually raped here, though it’s implied in the backstory of one character, but certainly this is a series that wants you to know that it’s not afraid to shock and offend you. Unfortunately, I wrote things like this when I was in my early twenties, so all it does is make me cringe and want to desperately be reading anything else. The core of Blade & Bastard is still interesting, it’s just the execution I don’t like.

The book starts off with a real tragedy: Garbage breaks her beloved huge-ass broadsword. She goes off to get a replacement, but none of them appeal to her, and she’s left with a “Cuisinart”, a blade that is certainly good but far too light for her, and it also spins around. (The joke is somewhat obvious.) As for Raraja, he’s watching everyone else take on the dungeon every day and still trying to find a purpose beyond “locate the girl I used to adventure with whose corpse is presumably somewhere in the dungeon”. How fortunate for him that he’s met by his old bully, Goerz, who says he has that EXACT info, and will give it to Raraja if he just does one little job in the dungeon for him. Raraja knows it’s probably a trap, but goes along with it anyway, because information and a death trap is better than no information. Sadly, he’s underestimated how evil Goerz really is.

So yeah, this is a harem series. New book, new girl, and yes, it’s the girl who Raraja has been searching for who turns out to not be dead but merely wishes she was. Orlaya has some special abilities, and thus has been used by everyone around her to the point where she’s grown extremely bitter, cynical and disillusioned, and thus 100% rejects any help Raraja might be offering. Last time I said that every girl in this series was the author’s barely disguised fetish, and that applies here, as Orlaya is missing an eye, gets stuck inside a meat machine that basically spews out monsters with her as the center, and generally defines the word “woobie”. Oh yes, and as if this weren’t cliched enough, after being saved by Raraja (duh), she walks up to the huge stacked Berkanan and says “I won’t lose!”, as if Blade & Bastard suddenly became Love Hina.

So yeah, I was mostly unhappy. That said, there are good bits here. Most of Garbage’s plotline, including a few more tasty backstory bits, is excellent. Aine gets to be a cool sword-swinging nun, even if she also gets a pile of rape threats and also loses both hands. And Iarumas almost has an emotion. Still, this book’s main audience is for those who think there’s no such thing as too much black paint.

Filed Under: blade & bastard, reviews

I’m Giving the Disgraced Noble Lady I Rescued a Crash Course in Naughtiness: I’ll Spoil Her with Delicacies and Style to Make Her the Happiest Woman in the World!, Vol. 3

February 18, 2024 by Leave a Comment

By Fukada Sametarou and Sakura Miwabe. Released in Japan as “Konyaku Haki Sareta Reijō o Hirotta Ore ga, Ikenai Koto o Oshiekomu -Oishi Mono o Tabesasete Oshare o Sasete, Sekai Ichi Shiawase na Shōjo ni Produce!-” by PASH! Books. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Yui Kajita.

Oh dear. I’d say “and it was going so well, too”, but to be honest I had a few issues with the first two volumes of this series as well. This third one, though, feels like an episode of that game show where you send contestants into a supermarket and they have to stuff as many groceries into a cart as they can in 60 seconds. Theoretically the final volume in the series (more on that later), this volume seemingly had one plot left to deal with: Charlotte’s family and her past as an abused child. Admittedly this is a tricky plot to write when you’re doing a sweet romcom that uses the word “naughty” as its main gag, but clearly that was going to be the thrust of it. We do get that, but it’s lost in an avalanche of “everything but the kitchen sink”.

Now that Allen and Charlotte have confessed to each other, they can only get closer. Unfortunately, Charlotte casually mentions that tomorrow is her birthday… a fact that literally everyone in the cast except for Allen seems to have known, and they’re all lining up to deliver the absolute best presents, while Allen flails and is pathetic. Finally settling on “a kiss once everyone is asleep”, he then runs into another problem: Charlotte’s body holds two souls, the second one being the former Saint of her country Lydilia, who has occasionally been taking charge of Charlotte’s body (that’s how she escaped so easily), but now wants Allen to kill her as she is tired of life. (Kill her soul, I hasten to add – Charlotte would be fine.) That’s still not good enough for Allen, and now he has to find naughty things to please a completely different noble lady.

I cannot begin to describe how the first third of this annoyed me. Suddenly this non-isekai series is filled with reincarnations from Japan, who are busy creating ramen cafes. Our mail carrier catgirl turns out to have been searching for her missing twin sister… who she finds within 2 pages of her explaining this. The “perfect birthday present” section is excruciating, with Allen suddenly becoming ten times more pathetic than he’s ever been. Lydilia’s plot works best, especially when the narrative turns serious, but it also feels like it was shoehorned in so that the same “sharing souls” concept could be used to explain part of the overcomplicated solution to Charlotte’s past abuse. Lastly, the final scene with Allen and Charlotte meeting as children actively made me snarl at the book in its obviousness.

Still, at least with this last volume, we’ve… End of Part One, you say? More books coming? Sigh. If you really enjoyed this, you might try more, but this third volume just annoyed me.

Filed Under: i'm giving the disgraced noble lady i rescued a crash course in naughtiness, reviews
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