Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway, Vol. 1

By Shimesaba and booota. Released in Japan as “Hige wo Soru. Soshite Joshikousei wo Hirou” by Kadokawa Sneaker Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Marcus Shauer (Medibang, Inc.).

I was not originally going to be reading this at all. What I’d heard from reviews of the anime did not really appeal to me. Kadokawa’s license of the light novel made me ask “are you going to use Mediba–yes, you are”, and sure enough, their original version did not read great, from what I’ve been told. But then Yen On licensed the actual books (Kadokawa releases only chapters), and they promised actual editing. Which, to the credit of Emma McClain and Jordan Blanco, works well; the book may be unreadable to me for several reasons, but the translation and adaptation is not one of them. So I waffled. I read a lot of these romance books lately. It stars actual adults. Fine, I’ll give it a try. Lesson learned? Trust your instincts, Sean. I want to bill the author for the dental work I’ll need after grinding my teeth through this first volume, which tries to clear a low bar but forgets about all the other bars.

Yoshida is a corporate worker who has just confessed to his boss, who promptly rejects him because bosses should not date their employees… no, wait, it’s because she says she has a boyfriend already. In despair, he gets incredibly drunk and goes home, where he finds outside his house a high school girl who has run away from home. She asks if she can stay with him in exchange for “certain favors”, he rejects the favors and notifies the police… no, he does not in fact do that, he lets her stay at his place. As the days wear on and she continues to stay, clean the house, and cook his meals, he suddenly finds that he’s sleeping better, looks more put together, and is leading a sensible life. He’s even getting attention from his cute underling… and from the boss who rejected him. Is the secret to success having a runaway underage wife?

Let’s start with my pettiest objection: I expected shaving to have far more impact on the narrative given that it’s in the title. He doesn’t even have a real beard, just… scruff that he probably shaved every third day. Moving on, one of the reasons that high school romances with a dimwit protagonist who has 8 different women who love him because he’s actually not a terrible person works is because he’s a dumb teen who’s still growing up. It works far less well with a 27-year-old salaryman. The majority of this book is from his POV, and I will admit that when the book finally switched to Sayu it got more interesting, though we never do learn why she’s run away. The book tries to critique the tropes it’s wallowing in, too, pointing out the dangers of “kind” people and also when to learn how to trust, but I still can’t get over the premise of “wow, I just need a girl to be my wife in all ways except sexual ones, and suddenly I’m a harem protagonist!”.

If this book was going to be about found family, and about Yoshida and Sayu’s relationship being more like an older brother/younger sister, I might be vaguely interested. But I have zero confidence that the author is not setting things up for her to be part of the love interests one the “high school” part is done. In the end, this is a giant cavalcade of NOPE for me.

The World’s Strongest Rearguard: Labyrinth Country’s Novice Seeker, Vol. 7

By Tôwa and Huuka Kazabana. Released in Japan as “Sekai Saikyou no Kouei: Meikyuukoku no Shinjin Tansakusha” by Kadokawa Books. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Alexandra McCullough-Garcia.

Last time I suggested that things might get a lot more interesting now that bad things have happened to our heroes. Sadly, I was overoptimistic there, and I forgot how, no matter how bad things may get, the general tone of this series remains “cozy”. Yes, Theresia was cursed by the Shinimg Simian Lord, but she’s not immediately turned evil, it’s a slow-acting evil curse, so she spends most of this book merely being herself and occasionally shuddering as it corrupts her. And Elitia is of course devastated that she got everyone into this in the first place, but after a suitable period of angst and wallowing she’s allowed to be reborn as a far better person and swordswoman. And, of course, nothing can ever take away from the true purpose of this series: watching everyone ask Arihito what new skills they should buy. Even the author says that this is more a video game than a book at this point. That said… I’m still reading it, so something must be going right.

On the cover are two new characters, Ivril and Viola, who introduce themselves but not much else. But they look cool, right? As for Arihito’s party, after the disastrous battle in the Blazing Mansion they have a new problem; they not only have to rescue Elitia’s comrade but also cure Theresia from her curse. This requires research, as well as battling some undead horrors, in order to reach a curse-breaker who reminds everyone of Ceres (they’re not related, apparently, but have a past history). They also join another battle to help out two wayward seekers who got separated from their party during a retreat, and they take on yet another sentient weapon at the end of the book, which pops up when trying to open a black treasure chest. Do they go back and fight the simian lord? Not yet. See you in Book 8.

Again, these books meander. Chapter 2 goes from Page 54 to 122 in my copy, and it’s nothing but looking at Expedition Results, Level Ups, and choosing new skills. I also left out the delicious meals they eat (including a chef who wants to cook food with the rare fruits they got recently) and of course all the sexual innuendo, as this remains the filthiest G-rated book in light novels. (Kyouka has a dream she’s married to Arihito and is wearing a naked apron for him.) That said, as noted above, it was nice to see Elitia finally figure out how to master her blade, which essentially turns out to be “trust that I won’t use it to murder allies”. We get a bit more of her backstory here, and see that her brother has been manipulating it – after the Simian Lord his group may be the next fight.

No one is reading this for depth, and if you’re reading it to see when anyone will have sex, despite all the innuendo, you should also find some other series. But if you’ve enjoyed rearguard so far, you’ll enjoy this.

Chitose Is in the Ramune Bottle, Vol. 2

By Hiromu and raemz. Released in Japan as “Chitose-kun wa Ramune Bin no Naka” by Gagaga Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Evie Lund.

I’m enjoying the Chitose series a great deal, but if there’s one thing that worries me it’s that I don’t know what the series’ overall plot is. Other series have ‘each volume has a girl in distress” about them, most notably Rascal Does Not Dream Of (insert girl here), but we know by the end of Book 2 what the basic thread of the series is (the supernatural manifestations of psychological trauma). I suppose it veers closest to My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As I Expected, which also features a lead guy who will throw himself under the bus to solve a problem, but I think if I tried comparing Chitose with Hachiman the latter would be very angry with me. The question is, are we meant to be figuring out who is “best girl” in a romantic sense? Is this about ripping Chitose’s mask off? Or is it just a series where a group of high schoolers give an excuse for a plot of the week, like many TV shows?

As you might have guessed, the girl on the cover is the main girl of this book, Yuzuki Nanase. She’s lately been worried that she has a stalker, and asks Chitose to pretend to be her boyfriend in order to either drive them off or draw them out. He’s the obvious choice as the two of them are extremely similar, and so she knows he won’t be getting any misconceptions about what this relationship is about. Unfortunately, her fears turn out to be quite justified, as delinquents from a different school are forcing her to revisit an incident from her past that she’s been trying to bury. In the meantime, the fact that he’s now dating Nanase has Chitose in a spotlight he’d rather avoid, and he ends up having ANOTHER guy that he tries to give life advice to.

The other similar series I didn’t mention in the first paragraph is Bottom-Tier Character Tomozaki, and there is an element of that here in Chitose’s trying to hammer home the idea that girls are not pure fantasy creatures and fart and masturbate and everything else that’s normal. But, as with the first book, one of the big draws here is that the popular kids are the leads, allowing the ability to tell a different kind of story. Even something like Tomozaki relies on the outsider who has a past where he always thought “goddamn normies” to get past. Kenta, the nerd from the first book, is still here and is now part of their group, but he’s not the narrator and doesn’t drive the plot. This is a story of popular kids dealing with a specific popular girl problem in a way that, say, Hachiman would be unable to pull off. Good thing, too, as this book also gets more serious towards the end, with suggestions of sexual assault in both past and present.

So I’m still not sure where this series is going, but I’m greatly enjoying the ride. That said, I suspect that all the potential romantic interests for Chitose, including Nanase, are going to have to take a back seat to his upperclassman crush, and the cover for Vol. 3 suggests we’ll get a lot more of her next time.