By Hitoma Iruma and Fly. Released in Japan as “Watashi no Hatsukoi Aite ga Kiss Shiteta” by Dengeki Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Kiki Piatkowska.

(This discusses the final “twist” in this third and final volume of the series, but not till near the end.)

OK, I’ve calmed down a little bit from a couple hours ago, when I finished this book and was ready to not only tear into it, but also Adachi and Shimamura, and hell, toss Bloom Into You there as well, which the author wrote a spinoff to. But I am now thinking of that meme with the “dead dove do not eat” bag, and I will admit, after my experience with the first volume, and the fact that the second volume managed to somehow up the ante, I really should not have been that surprised at … MOST of what I read here. Most of what I read here is just an author who has decided to write a thought experiment rather than about characters, and also possibly saying “see? I could have turned Adachi and Shimamura into THESE two! Aren’t you glad I didn’t?”. (Oh yes, and there’s another stupid cameo from another of the author’s series I don’t know.) So we’re left with one thing so stupid I’m still angry.

We pick up where we left off, and honestly the rest of the book plays out so predictably – mostly – that I feel reluctant to even sum it up. After hearing that Shiho is her sister, Umi seems to fall EVEN HARDER for her, and decides to move out of the bedroom she shares with Takasora and into an apartment with Shiho. This is, mind you, after Shiho runs off while leaving her bag at Takasora’s house, which requires going to her rich estate to confront her. Takasora tries to stop this happening by grumping about it very hard, but by now Umi is not only aware that Takasora is in love with her but has started to actively reject that. Things are not helped by Umi confessing to Takasora: she plans to kill herself after graduation.

As I said above, I could have guessed most of this by the end of the second book. It is not exactly a surprise that Umi does not really care about any incestuous aspect of her relationship with Shiho. In fact, the fact that Shiho is also a family member – and one who actually explicitly loves her – sends Umi over the moon, really. I’m also not very surprised that the entire Umi suicide plot is left completely up in the air at the end, because, just as Adachi and Shimamura is really Shimamura with a bit of Adachi, these books have been about Takasora, not about Umi, so her own fate is irrelevant once Takasora gives up on her. I can even, very, very grumpily, accept the ending twist where, years later, Takasora has become another Shiho, preying on young students and breaking up their friendships with other girls. It’s thematically gross and terrible, but I can see how the author went “Oh, wow, what a great twist!” while cackling to themselves. No, the absolute DUMBEST thing in this book is Takasora slipping and hitting her head on a rock, and that head injury being signposted as to what made her “turn evil”. There was no need for that! You already signposted your shitty twist! There was no need to make it due to brain damage after talking to Yashiro and wiping out in the river! WHYYYYYYY?

There’s another Adachi and Shimamura due out later this year, and I’m wavering on whether I want to read it, especially since the author wrote the 99.9 volume giving the series a very definitive ending. But whatever it turns out to be, I hope to god they don’t feel a need to shoehorn in anything from this terrible series. There are much better toxic yuri couples out there.